The Watchtower — September 15, 1977

Beware of Self-Pity

KING AHAB was feeling very sorry for himself. He lay down on his couch, turned his face to the wall and refused to eat. Why? Sickness or some tragic news? No. His only problem was that one of his subjects, Naboth, had refused to sell him a plot of land adjacent to the palace. Why was the king so anxious to obtain this plot? Was it for some important project? No. He wanted it for a vegetable garden. The owner’s refusal to part with the plot sent the king into a plethora of self-pity. Ahab went to bed and sulked.​—1 Ki. 21:1-4.

The incident, which made the monarch appear petty and even ridiculous, took a grim turn. King Ahab’s wife, the notorious Queen Jezebel, refused to take Naboth’s “No” for an answer. She arranged to have Naboth falsely accused of blasphemy. The local court of elders and nobles at Samaria cooperated with the scheme, and Naboth was stoned to death. This paved the way for weak King Ahab to take possession of the plot in order to grow vegetables.​—1 Ki. 21:5-16.

As illustrated in the case of Ahab, the person who yields to self-pity is pursuing an undesirable course. Because self-pity is an excessive, unbalanced concern with oneself, it can be very hurtful. Self-pity can make a person morose and petty, as it did King Ahab. It draws a person’s attention inward to such an extent that loving concern for others dwindles or even disappears. One who gives in to self-pity may come to look at serious matters in a distorted way and, therefore, may manifest poor judgment. Self-pity may also weaken a person spiritually and, worse, lead him to compromise under pressure, sacrificing his clean standing before God. So we have good reason to beware of self-pity.

What can cause feelings of self-pity? It may be sickness, infirmity, financial loss or a tragedy, such as the death of a beloved relative or a close friend. As in the case of Ahab, self-pity could be prompted by disappointment. A general sense of failure, even imagined failure, also causes many people to pity themselves. For example, a person might attempt something new but afterward feel that he did very poorly. A feeling of frustration and self-pity may overtake him, especially if others give him no encouragement or show no appreciation for his efforts. He may even react like Ahab, withdrawing from associating with others. When this happens to a Christian, it is spiritually damaging to him. For him to keep alive spiritually, he needs his Christian brothers.

To resist feelings of self-pity, a person must have the right view of his problems and trials. We should look on unpleasant experiences as opportunities to improve in the display of fine qualities under test. For instance, if things always went smoothly for us, how could we tell whether we actually had patience, endurance or self-control? On the other hand, trialsome circumstances soon make it clear to us wherein we are lacking. This puts us in a better position to make improvement. It may be that a person needs to devote more time to a serious study of God’s Word and to put forth greater effort to apply the knowledge taken in. Possibly, he should associate more with persons who are exemplary in displaying fine Christian qualities. Yes, when a person considers the trials he undergoes as discipline or training from Jehovah, he will doubtless be more concerned about striving to make improvement in his personality and, therefore, less likely to yield to feelings of self-pity.

Such an attitude toward trials is in harmony with the inspired counsel: “Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet with various trials, knowing as you do that this tested quality of your faith works out endurance. But let endurance have its work complete, that you may be complete and sound in all respects, not lacking in anything.”​—Jas. 1:2-4.

It may also help us to keep in mind the examples of others who have endured faithfully and how Jehovah God rewarded them. A case in point is Job. He lost all his possessions and his children. His wife and companions turned against him, and he himself was stricken with a loathsome disease. Nevertheless, Job endured faithfully and later was richly rewarded by Jehovah. The Bible record reports that Jehovah “blessed the end of Job afterward more than his beginning.” (Job 42:12) Drawing attention to this, the Christian disciple James wrote: “Look! We pronounce happy those who have endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome Jehovah gave, that Jehovah is very tender in affection and merciful.”​—Jas. 5:11.

Granted, tribulations and difficulties are never pleasant. But we should not lose sight of the fact that they do come to an end. And, if we endure faithfully, not allowing ourselves to become swallowed up by feelings of self-pity, we will not lose our reward. The Bible assures Christians: “God is not unrighteous so as to forget your work and the love you showed for his name.” (Heb. 6:10) The experiences of many faithful servants of Jehovah, including Job, amply testify to that fact.

Something else that can aid us to conquer self-pity is a sincere effort to be more concerned about others than ourselves. This is in harmony with the Bible’s admonition: “Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.” (1 Cor. 10:24) The person who actively gives of his time, energies and assets in promoting the happiness and welfare of fellow humans will himself be happy. “There is more happiness in giving,” says the Bible, “than there is in receiving.”​—Acts 20:35.

Individually, we can also be of assistance to those who readily succumb to self-pity. A basic human need is to be loved. Therefore, we can help those who are prone to pity themselves. How? By making them aware of the fact that they are needed, loved and appreciated. This can also be done by showing them how they are definitely contributing to the happiness of others. Moreover, expressions of genuine appreciation and encouragement can do much to lift their spirits, while at the same time pointing out the dangers of self-pity in a frank and friendly way.

In view of the problems that self-pity can cause, we certainly have good reason to resist this undesirable emotion. Those who fight it will find that this will make their life happier, and they will be more contented.

Doing Our Part to Promote a Happy Family Life

“Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.”​—Eph. 5:33

1, 2. What is to be desired and what avoided, in marriage, and to whom do many turn for help?

A HAPPY marriage! Who among mankind that enters into this God-given arrangement does not want to have happiness? Even in this imperfect sorrow-filled world, there are those who have been able to find true happiness in married life. They have been able to avoid the divisions, the problems and the heartaches that are so rampant in the world today. But how? Is it by following the advice of the multitude of marriage counselors whose widely varied opinions are published everywhere today?

² Centuries ago the wise man wrote: “To the making of many books there is no end,” and certainly there does seem to be no end to the writing of books on marriage and related subjects. (Eccl. 12:12) Psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors and the like give views and counterviews on what persons can do to have a happy marriage. Newspapers and magazines regularly carry columns with advice for the lovelorn. Still, difficulties mount and statistics on marriage and divorce show that a large percentage of persons resort either to separation or to divorce because they have not found happiness. But those who have problems can take courage. The Author of marriage tells us how it is possible even in a divided world to find satisfying happiness in this divine arrangement.

3. What questions are asked concerning marriage, and what suggestion is offered about a source of help?

³ Do you have a happy marriage? Have you found the joy that you expected with your life’s companion? Do you who have been married for many years still “rejoice with the wife of your youth”? (Prov. 5:18) On the other hand, do you have problems? If so, no doubt you would like to know of a source that can really help with sound advice. Of course, the source cannot eliminate all the difficulties that you might experience in this imperfect world, but it can help you to cope with problems and it shows you what you as an individual can do to improve your marriage. That source is the Word of God, the Holy Bible. Within its pages are found counsel and advice that will assist those who are willing to live by its directives. Consider now some of the problems of modern-day marriages and see how God’s Word can help a person to cope with them for the blessing of the family arrangement.​—Ps. 19:7, 8.

HEADSHIP

4. (a) How do many women feel about man’s headship in the marriage arrangement? (b) What is the Bible’s view of man’s headship responsibilities?

⁴ One sore point among many of womankind today is the dominance accorded to the man in the marriage arrangement. To some women it is “male chauvinism,” that is, a vainglorious or exaggerated view that the man has toward his position as head over the woman. Let us say at the outset that male chauvinism, or a vainglorious attitude of the husband in a family, is not a product of the teachings of the Holy Scriptures. While Genesis 3:16 tells us that the woman would have a craving toward her husband and that he would dominate her, the Bible clearly shows that God did not purpose that the woman would be in a slavish bondage to the man. Rather, he was to be in position as head, or the one charged with oversight of his wife and the family that they might produce. In the days of the ancient Hebrews, about whose history the Bible has so much to say, godly women of spirit and ability, while subject to their husbandly heads, had much latitude and freedom of action and were happy in their place and were blessed in being used by Jehovah God to perform special services for Him. Examples among the many faithful wives of the Bible are Sarah, Rebekah, Ruth, Hannah, Esther, Elizabeth, and Mary the mother of Jesus.

5, 6. (a) How does headship flow, according to 1 Corinthians 11:3? (b) What do the apostles Paul and Peter have to say about how the husband’s headship is to be exercised?

⁵ The writings of the Christian Greek Scriptures of the Holy Bible shed much light on the headship role that the man has in the marriage arrangement. Let us first read such information and then we can better see how to make application thereof in facing today’s marriage problems.

⁶ Turning to the book of First Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3, we find that the apostle Paul wrote these words to the congregation in Corinth: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.” Here he shows how authority in the Christian congregation flows, from Jehovah to Christ, to the man and to the woman. But, now, how is that headship of the man to be exercised? Turning to Ephesians 5:28, we read: “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it.” The apostle Peter adds to this by saying: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.”​—1 Pet. 3:7.

7. How do some wives at times feel about their husbands, and what questions can a husband ask himself regarding his headship?

⁷ This, then, is the counsel of holy spirit to husbands in dealing with their wives over whom they have headship. It sounds very simple. The great problem is that due to imperfection and inborn selfishness there are times when the husband, while wanting to be the head of the family, fails to show that necessary love and consideration for his wife, the weaker one. Often a wife will say of her husband that she doesn’t feel loved by him, that her husband’s only concern is his own pleasure and satisfaction. Within the Christian congregation, then, a husband must take stock of himself and face up to realities. Ask yourself, Do I love my wife as I do myself? Do I assign her honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one? Or, have I been one that is interested only in my own satisfaction and what I want? Do I take into consideration her needs and desires? When it comes to decisions, do I give her a listening ear, or do I make all the decisions, irrespective of any desires that she might have?

8, 9. In what areas can a husband give consideration as to how he is exercising his headship?

⁸ Let us consider some of those areas where lack of proper headship gives rise to problems that take away from happiness in marriage. It may be that both husband and wife are sharing together in the Christian hope and are dedicated, baptized servants of the Most High God, Jehovah. Do you as a husband make it a point to share time not only with your own relatives, but also with those of your wife? Or do you make things miserable when your wife’s relatives are coming for a visit, or when you are visiting them? Do you share equally with your wife’s side of the family as you want your wife to share equally with your side of the family, to the extent possible in your circumstances?

⁹ What about times of relaxation together? Is it always what you want to do that is done by the family? Do you consult with your wife as to what she might like to do, rather than making arbitrary decisions? Think of how pleasant it would be for the husband and wife to sit down together and plan on where they might spend a few days of a vacation, rather than for the husband to exert his authority and make the decision without consulting with his wife.

10. When it comes to rearing children, what should the Christian husband have in mind?

¹⁰ Consider, too, how headship applies in the raising of children in the family. Do you as a husband leave all the disciplining of your children to your wife? When the children do well, are they your children, and when they do not do so well, are they her children? If it is a united effort that is being put forth in the rearing of the children, how much more this adds to true happiness and joy in the family arrangement! The apostle Paul wrote this to the Ephesians: “Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous.” (Eph. 6:1) You will note here that the command is to obey parents, not just one of the parents. The further advice to the Ephesians was: “And you, fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” The New Testament in Modern English says at this verse: “Fathers, don’t overcorrect your children or make it difficult for them to obey the commandment. Bring them up with Christian teaching in Christian discipline.”​—Eph. 6:4.

11. How do some husbands fail in headship matters, giving rise to what complaints from their wives?

¹¹ A further point that should be given serious consideration by the husband in the Christian household is that of taking the headship that God has given him. Many times wives will complain that their husbands just refuse to make decisions and leave everything to them. Of course, at times that is the easiest course, the one of least resistance. But, Christian husbands, that is a shirking of your God-given responsibility before Jehovah! A Christian husband is required by God and his Word to take the lead as the one appointed in the theocratic arrangement of things.

12. (a) Why does the assuming of headship responsibilities in the family not bring happiness to the woman? (b) Is this a degrading of her position, making her inferior to the husband?

¹² When a husband lets everything slide, does not come to grips with making decisions, and his wife has to take over that responsibility, unhappiness results. First of all, though some women lose their husbands and have to guide the family in place of the man, the woman is far better equipped for giving wifely support than for taking on the role of family head. That is how God made her. She was created in the beginning as a complement to the man, a partner with him, and this is the happier role for her. Do you remember what Jehovah said when it was evident to the man that there was not a companion for him among all the rest of earth’s creatures? The record says: “And Jehovah God went on to say: ‘It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.’” (Gen. 2:18) So the woman was to be a helper to the man. That is an exalted position for the woman to occupy. Speaking of Jesus in his prehuman existence under the title of wisdom, the book of Proverbs says that he was beside Jehovah as a “master worker.” (Prov. 8:30) So, husbands, work with your wives as treasured helpers, consulting with them, getting their views and opinions, and then take the lead in the household in major decision making. Your doing so can result in true happiness in the marriage bond. This does not mean that you have to do everything yourself, but remember that it is to you as head that your household looks for direction as to what is to be done and by whom. Working together will make both headship and subjection a blessing in the marriage bond.

WIFE’S SUBJECTION

13. Is woman’s Biblical subjection to her husband abject slavery? Give reasons for your answer.

¹³ Getting now to that perhaps somewhat touchy subject of subjection of the wife to the husband, let us turn first to Paul’s words to the congregation in Ephesus on this matter. Paul said: “Let wives be in in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord.” And the apostle Peter wrote: “In like manner, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.” (Eph. 5:22; 1 Pet. 3:1) To many women those are ‘fighting words’ in today’s world of women’s liberation But it does not have to be so at all. If a woman truly loves her husband and her husband is meeting the qualifications of a Christian husband, some of which are discussed in this article (though we have by no means gone into all facets of the situation), then it can be a pleasure for her to be in subjection to him. That is not abject slavery. Rather, it is playing her God-given role, which results in her happiness and joy. Just what can the Christian wife do to make a marriage happy?

14. (a) Why might some wives have a problem in showing Biblical subjection to their husbands? (b) Why is Peter’s advice at 1 Peter 3:2 applicable also to women with believing husbands?

¹⁴ It may require some changes in her personality, just as the husband may have to make some changes. If the woman tends to be independent, well able to care for herself, she may find that it is not so easy to be in subjection to a husband. She may have to make some adjustments in her thinking, even drastic changes in some cases, so as to do her part in making a happy union. If she has a husband who has not until now shown the consideration she would like to see, she has the opportunity to work for improvement. The apostle Peter said that women with unbelieving husbands could help their spouses if such wives, by their chaste conduct together with deep respect, showed Christian subjection to their husbands. (1 Pet. 3:2) That being the case, the matter should be far easier to handle if the husband is a dedicated and baptized Christian, working with his wife in Jehovah’s service.

15. How can a wife win her husband’s approval in her role as homemaker?

¹⁵ There are many ways that wives can win over their husbands. It can be by the way that they maintain the home. If it is kept clean and tidy, that can go a long way in encouraging the husband to play his role properly. Do you take pleasure in your role as a homemaker? When your husband’s friends come to visit, is he proud of the home into which he has them enter? That is something to think about. If a home is unkempt, with yesterday’s dirty dishes in the sink and heavy layers of dust on the furniture, and a generally slovenly appearance greets the eyes of those who visit, this can detract from the happiness of marriage. It goes without saying that at times husbands themselves can help in these matters by keeping things neat. But right now we are speaking of ways to help your husband so that he can be proud of you as a loving and devoted wife.

16. If entrusted with the family budget, what is the wife’s responsibility?

¹⁶ There is also the family budget to consider. Do you strive to keep within your financial means? If your husband entrusts you with the finances for running the home, getting the groceries and paying the house bills, do you work to keep within your budget, not expecting that you can be a spendthrift because he will come up with further money if needed? Again, it goes without saying that a husband should try to provide sufficient funds for the family budget. And where there must be some economizing, both parties in the marriage relationship should work together for the common interests of the family.​—Prov. 31:10-31.

17. In what ways can a wife show interest in her husband’s responsibilities (without prying into areas that he may have to keep confidential) and thus keep open the lines of communication?

¹⁷ Keeping open the lines of communication with your husband is also important. Again, this does not fall on the wife alone, but both must work at it. But there are certain things that a wife can do to help, without inquiring into matters that may be of a private nature if her husband has responsibilities in the congregation. She can strive to involve her husband in conversation about his work during the day, perhaps problems that he can share with her, and she can tell him about her day at home with the children, or about her activity in witnessing about the Kingdom. It is this interest in each other’s lives that works to be a blessing and brings happiness in the family circle.​—Prov. 16:24.

18. Name some other problems hindering family unity that can yet be discussed.

¹⁸ Thus far we have dealt with two main areas in promoting family unity, that of the headship of the husband under God’s arrangement of things, and that of proper wifely subjection, as outlined in the Bible for wives. But there are many other areas that need our attention in a discussion on family life. For example, there are the problems of a nagging mate, of disciplining the children, and also of the marital relationship, spoken of by the apostle Paul as the rendering of that which is due each mate in their intimate lives with one another. (1 Cor. 7:3-5) It will be of interest to consider these matters, and so the succeeding article will take up these points in greater detail for our benefit.

Working Together for the Unity of the Family

1. (a) What kind of expressions and attitudes do Christian households want to avoid? (b) What is the good advice of Colossians 4:6?

“I TOLD YOU SO!” “You never listen to me!” “Didn’t I tell you that would happen?” All too often such expressions become a part of family discussions among marriage mates and their children. They are said in a tone of disgust when something did not go right and it was the mate’s idea. The wise man wrote: “Better to live alone in the desert than with a nagging and ill-tempered wife.” (Prov. 21:19, New English Bible) The same can be said for living with a nagging and ill-tempered husband. The dictionary defines the word “nagging”: “To annoy by faultfinding; to irritate by persistent scolding.” This form of irritation certainly has no place in the Christian household. Both partners in the marriage arrangement must guard against it. Good advice for all of us is to be found in the apostle’s words to the congregation in Colossae: “Let your utterance be always with graciousness, seasoned with salt, so as to know how you ought to give an answer to each one.” (Col. 4:6) Making that kind of reply to one’s marriage partner will certainly be to the blessing of both parties.

2. How was timely information on kindness given to readers of this journal in the past?

² Not long ago in the pages of this journal there appeared an article dealing with kindness. Among other things it said the following: “Those who profess to be Christians want to watch that their kindness may not be less than the kindness . . . sometimes shown by persons who do not claim to be servants of God. . . . We see and read about acts of extraordinary human kindness that may, by contrast, reveal less kindness on the part of some who profess to be dedicated servants of God.” How very sad it would be if, in our family circle of dedicated worshipers of Jehovah, we fail to show kindness in dealing with one another.

3. How does the term “like manner” apply to the way husbands should deal with their wives?

³ To husbands, the apostle Peter gives this fine counsel on showing proper concern for their wives: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered.” (1 Pet. 3:7) The “like manner” referred to by Peter is outlined in his previous words, starting from chapter two of his letter, where he gives counsel on proper subjection and related subjects. Speaking of the Lord Jesus Christ, Peter wrote that he had left his followers a model to follow. Of Jesus, he said: “When he was being reviled, he did not go reviling in return. When he was suffering, he did not go threatening, but kept on committing himself to the one who judges righteously.” (1 Pet. 2:23) That really was the course of kindness, a truly worthy example for husbands to follow in like manner.

4. How should wives in “like manner” show kindness?

⁴ Of course, Peter also had some wise advice for the wives to follow in “like manner” as well. He spoke of women having “the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.” That, indeed, is the way of kindness for wives professing to be servants of Jehovah and Christ Jesus.​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

5. Show how the advice of Peter applies to all in exercising kindness.

⁵ But that is not all. When it comes to showing that kind spirit in the family circle, parents are not the only ones called on to refrain from being naggers and faultfinders. Peter’s further words were: “Finally, all of you be like-minded, showing fellow feeling, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate, humble in mind.” The fine reward that comes from following this counsel Peter spoke about just a few verses later, when he said: “For the eyes of Jehovah are upon the righteous ones, and his ears are toward their supplication.”​—1 Pet. 3:8, 12.

PROPER CONCERN FOR CHILDREN

6. (a) In showing concern for children, how must both father and mother shoulder responsibility? (b) What Scriptural advice do we have regarding child training?

⁶ Then there is the matter of building up the children in the family circle. In the previous article of this discussion we read about the weight of responsibility on the father in raising the children in the discipline and mental-regulating of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4) But it goes without saying that the mother, too, has much responsibility in caring for this important part of the family circle. (Prov. 6:20; Eph. 6:1, 2) In a world where delinquency is rampant, where child and teen-age crime statistics paint a grim picture of violence, it can readily be seen that the training given by Christian parents to their children can be a matter of life and death. When both parents are believers they can cooperate in applying the wise teachings of God’s Word with respect to child training.​—Prov. 13:24; 22:6.

7. How should differing views in child discipline be handled by a father and mother, and why?

⁷ United action by both parents in lovingly disciplining the children can contribute much toward a happy family atmosphere. Parents can talk over differing views of child discipline when alone and out of earshot of the children, and their coming to sound conclusions together will be to the benefit of the children. These can be encouraged to grow up with respect for the advice and discipline of both parents, and not to seek to divide the parents over issues and problems that come up in their young lives.

8. (a) What fact must be faced in raising children? (b) Therefore, what must parents strive to do?

⁸ It is true that some young ones do not respond from the heart to the truth of God’s Word. As was the case with Cain, Esau and others, some children refuse to respond to the truth. They do not let it become a guide in their lives, making for a harmonious family circle. This, indeed, brings great grief to the believing father and mother. ‘Where did we go wrong?’ they might say. There are times when parents truly have done everything possible to train up their children in the ways of righteousness, applying Bible counsel and discipline, and still these become rebellious and refuse to be obedient children of God. In such circumstances the words of Proverbs 17:21 and 25 are significant. There the wise man wrote: “The father of a senseless child does not rejoice. A stupid son is a vexation to his father and a bitterness to her that gave him birth.” How vital, therefore, that parents do everything within their power to give their children the good start in life that they deserve! This they can do by following the Bible’s advice on rearing their offspring. (Deut. 6:4-9) It is an integral part of working together for family unity.

9. (a) What more is needed than just studying the Bible with children? (b) In what areas can parents show interest in their children?

⁹ It is wise to remember that in training our children and raising them in the mental-regulating of Jehovah more is involved than just studying the Bible with them. Practical application of Bible principles is vital. If you have children, then as a wise parent you should set a fine example for them in industriousness. Would it be wise for a mother to let her young ones get their own breakfast in the morning, get ready for school and go off on their own, while she sleeps? Unless there is illness or other valid reason, Christian parents striving for a united family should make efforts to be up with their children in the mornings, getting them ready for school, providing a proper breakfast for them and seeing that they are adequately clothed. They should be interested in how their children are doing in their studies in school and that their conduct is always that of well-trained, well-mannered servants of Jehovah. They should inculcate in their children respect for older persons and high regard for the property of others. All these things and many others can assist in raising children that will not be a vexation to the spirit of the parents, but a praise to their Creator and a satisfaction to the mother and father.

HUSBAND-WIFE RELATIONSHIP

10, 11. What type of conduct is becoming more common among people in our day, and what argument do some use?

¹⁰ Then there are the ever-present problems in the intimate marital conduct between a man and his wife. In the world, so much has been written about this field in the last few years, some of which is directly contrary to the good counsel of God’s Word. It is common today for people to live together without benefit of marriage. Of course, this is not something new, but it is in our days that so many seem to think that it is the “smart” thing to do and to let it be known publicly, not caring for the feelings of others, or the moral teachings of God’s Word.

¹¹ Even in supposedly Christian lands so-called “religious” people live together without benefit of marriage, saying that there is little or no meaning to public pledges made or a piece of paper stating that you are bound to another individual in marriage. And there are large numbers of people who openly live with many mates, flitting from one to another with reckless abandon. This, of course, has given rise to increased venereal diseases, broken lives and delinquent children. But many seem not to care so long as their selfish desires are satisfied.

12. How must a Christian couple view these styles of living?

¹² To the Christian couple, of course, these ways of life are forbidden because God disapproves, and they have the good sense to know that pleasing God and doing his will is the most important thing in their lives. It brings his blessing. Nevertheless, the Christian couple must be careful that their marital relationship does not become debauched by unnatural practices, practices contrary to the principles in God’s Word. Both parties in the marriage arrangement need to take into consideration the Christian feelings of the marriage partner in the matter of sexual relations.

13. How can a husband show that he loves his wife?

¹³ Our Creator made man and woman to enjoy a close, warm intimacy in marriage. For that reason the woman was made as a “complement” to the man, that is, she serves to make the man complete. The man and woman are to be “one flesh.” (Gen. 2:18, 21-24) For this arrangement to work satisfactorily for both partners in their intimate relationship together, each has a role to play. For example, the apostle Paul wrote: “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it.” (Eph. 5:28, 29) For a wife to be genuinely happy she needs to feel that she is wanted, loved. In the intimate lives of the man and wife this love needs to be made manifest if the two are to promote family unity and understanding.

14. What is to be avoided in their relationship as man and wife, and why?

¹⁴ The conduct of the man and wife in fulfilling their responsibilities should be based on the Word of God. (1 Cor. 7:3-5) While the man and the woman are to delight in each other and their closeness in the husband-wife relationship, they are to avoid unnatural practices, such as sodomy. We say “unnatural” because the man and the woman were clearly not designed for these practices by their Creator, and his Word stresses the need to avoid the unclean practices characteristic of the world.​—Lev. 18:1-30; Rom. 1:24-27; 1 Thess. 4:3-8.

15. What is to be avoided if one is to put on the new personality? (Compare Jude 7.)

¹⁵ In this corrupt system of things where Christians have to live and conduct themselves within the bounds of Christian teaching, we must avoid developing the thinking and viewpoint of those who advocate wrong conduct. On all sides it seems that sex of every kind is a commodity to be bought and sold. Many coming to a knowledge of the truth have had experience in the old system and have in times past governed their lives by its thinking. Now they have come out of that system into God’s arrangement of things. They have made their minds over, put on the new personality and want to live lives in accordance with the righteous standards and principles of God’s Word.​—Eph. 4:19-24.

16. (a) Against what must a Christian be on guard in giving consideration to his moral conduct? (b) How do events of Noah’s day and of the time of Sodom and Gomorrah bear on this matter? (c) Show how the application of Romans 2:12-16 is of value in this regard.

¹⁶ It is vitally necessary that all of us who have been called out of darkness into God’s marvelous light of truth seriously consider how we think and how we act. We do not condone what God condemns. We should not want to walk as near the brink of wrongdoing as possible, feeling that we have certain rights and determinations that we ourselves can make if we choose. Nor should we excuse ourselves by saying that there is no direct writing in black and white in the Scriptures dealing exactly and in the most minute detail with a certain course of doubtful conduct. There is no evidence that, in the days of Noah, there was a written law condemning what the angels were doing in cohabiting with the daughters of men. But it was nevertheless wrong, immoral and wicked. God saw that the earth came to be ruined and filled with violence. He destroyed that world of wickedness, saving only eight righteous souls. (Gen. 6:11, 12; 1 Pet. 3:19, 20) Later God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for the wicked practice of sodomy. But there is nothing in Scripture to indicate that the people of that time had any written rules laid down in black and white from God specifically forbidding such practices. (Gen. 13:13; 19:24, 25) God had put the faculty of conscience into man from the beginning. Man fundamentally knows what is right and what is wrong, what practices are evil and condemned by God. (Rom. 2:12-16) Man basically knows what God intended when he put the procreative powers in the man and woman and made it possible by the sexual union of the two to produce offspring. Therefore, man basically knows that sodomy is wrong, that bestiality is wrong, along with adultery, fornication, homosexuality, and like practices. That is why, in order to promote family unity, both husband and wife must act within the bounds of godly thinking, based on the principles of the Word of God. This can result in lasting joy and happiness in the family circle.

17. Name another pitfall to be avoided in the marriage bond.

¹⁷ It is also to be noted that the intimacy of the marriage bond is not to be used as a weapon against one’s marriage mate for some selfish gain, or just in one’s own interests. The apostle Paul counseled: “Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to her husband. Do not be depriving each other of it, except by mutual consent.” Each mate should consider the needs of the other in the marriage bond, even as Paul wrote: “Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.”​—1 Cor. 7:3, 5; 10:24.

18. Where do we get sound advice on marriage and on keeping it honorable?

¹⁸ Jehovah’s visible earthly organization has provided much helpful information for married persons to consider, which can be to their blessing. This counsel and advice come from none other than Jehovah himself through his Word. When the apostle Paul wrote that marriage should be “honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement,” he meant just that, and those who are interested in a happy, joyful married life together can have such a marriage by adherence to that good advice of Paul to the Hebrew Christians.​—Heb. 13:4.

19. What further problems will be discussed bearing on the matter of marriage, family unity and peace among God’s servants?

¹⁹ Herein we have discussed a happy marriage arrangement where both husband and wife are dedicated and baptized Christians working for the same goals and interested in the same things. Many servants of Jehovah, however, find themselves in the position of being married to an unbeliever, or perhaps separated from their mate. How do those in such a position, who have children to rear and who want a happy life, meet their many problems? What is the advice of God’s Word for these servants of Jehovah? The next article will discuss these points.

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Both parents should cooperate in matters of discipline

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Do you get up early enough to help your children to get ready for school?

In Divided Families​—Can Happiness Be Found?

1, 2. (a) What is the application of Jesus’ words at Matthew 10:34-36? (b) What is most desirable, and how may this often be achieved?

THE message of truth, the word of God, acts like a “sword” and at times it brings sharp divisions among family members. Jesus Christ himself, in speaking of such situations, said: “I came to cause division . . . Indeed, a man’s enemies will be persons of his own household.” (Matt. 10:34-36) Of course, unity in the family is most desirable, and those who heed the Kingdom message should do everything within their power to remove the obstacles raised by Satan, so that “the illumination of the glorious good news about the Christ” might shine through to other family members.​—2 Cor. 4:4.

² In this, the believer’s showing the kindness, mildness and long-suffering that go along with a new Christian personality, his or her tactful presentation of the truth​—being careful not to “harp on it” all the time—​and the placing of stress on the practical, positive aspects of Christian living, may in time help the unbeliever to reason on the Bible. (Col. 3:10, 12) Appropriate visits by elders or others in the congregation​—for example, accepting meal invitations—​can help in removing wrong impressions or prejudices. Patient endurance has often been rewarded, even after many years, in that unbelievers have made an about-face, to become most zealous advocates of “this good news of the kingdom.”​—Matt. 24:14.

RELIGIOUSLY DIVIDED HOMES

3. (a) What is the basic reason for religiously divided homes? (b) What two types of unbelieving mates are herein discussed?

³ Nevertheless, we are confronted with the situation where many believing mates​—and Christian women in particular—​must face up to the problem of a divided household. This brings its train of difficulties. These faithful women know the advice of God’s Word, to marry “only in the Lord.” (1 Cor. 7:39) However, most of Jehovah’s servants in divided homes have learned the truth only after marriage, and have then found that their mates are not interested in pursuing the way of the truth and sharing with them in the Kingdom service. They are in the married state with one who does not share their views of the truth of God’s Word, which Jehovah’s Witnesses earnestly embrace. How can a woman in such circumstances show herself truly capable as a wife to her husband and a mother to their children? Much depends on the attitude of the unbelieving mate. If he is a person who does not interfere with the belief of his wife, and allows her a certain freedom for attending Christian meetings and sharing in the Kingdom proclamation, then the path is not as difficult. If he allows the wife to give the children training in the teachings of the Bible, so that they can grow up in the Way, this is not so great a problem. The real difficulties arise when the husband opposes the Christian activity of his wife and children and places many obstacles in their path.

4. (a) What Scriptural advice will the believer have in mind when it comes to retaliation, and what good result will this have? (b) How did the apostle Peter counsel wives as to their conduct?

⁴ Coping with such problems can be a test on the Christian. To return unkindness for unkindness might be a person’s natural reaction. However, bearing in mind the words of the apostle Paul to the Romans, the Christian wife must not so respond. Paul said: “Return evil for evil to no one. Provide fine things in the sight of all men. If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but yield place to the wrath; for it is written: ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says Jehovah.’ But, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing this you will heap fiery coals upon his head.’ Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.” (Rom. 12:17-21) Doing this will result, first, in praise to Jehovah, and, secondly, in peace of mind to the Christian wife. It will be a following of the apostle Peter’s good advice: “In like manner, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. And do not let your adornment be that of the external braiding of the hair and of the putting on of gold ornaments or the wearing of outer garments, but let it be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible apparel of the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.”​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

5, 6. Outline the steps that a believing wife can take in order to teach her children the truth.

⁵ What can the Christian woman do when the unbelieving husband seeks to prevent her from teaching and raising the children in the family in the discipline of Jehovah? Of course, she will do all that she can to show her husband the advantages of such training for the children, outlining, if at all possible, how Christian education is going to be in the children’s best interests. Her explaining what the children will learn and how they will personally benefit from the meetings and association, may soften the attitude of the unbelieving mate so that he will allow them to attend Christian meetings.

⁶ However, if the unbeliever proves adamant in not allowing the children to attend Christian meetings, the wife will have to use discernment and understanding in her teaching of the children in the ways of everlasting life. Under the circumstances the wife, though always manifesting chaste and upright conduct, will have to rely on Jehovah’s help and direction in giving assistance in a spiritual way to her children. She can always seek the advice of the elders in the congregation on what might be proper under her particular circumstances.

7. What should the Christian wife aim to accomplish?

⁷ One thing that the Christian wife should be interested in is doing all that she can to make the marriage relationship a happy one, praying to Jehovah and looking to the day when her mate might come to his senses and join her in Christian worship. That would serve to make the marriage truly a happy one, as the two of them together work in the interests of their family, with eternal life in view.

BROKEN HOMES AND MARRIAGE

8, 9. What responsibility does an abandoned wife have toward her children, and how can she fulfill this?

⁸ Sometimes, due to the Christian wife’s stand for righteousness, the unbelieving husband has separated from her. On other occasions women have come to a knowledge of the truth after they have been legally divorced or separated from their husbands. When the issue of separation arises, children have to be considered. While rearing children in a home with an unbelieving mate can be difficult, certainly for a woman to be raising children in a home without a husband and father present can also be most trying at times. The arrangement of Jehovah, of course, is for the parents, father and mother, to train the children. The united family circle offers the best environment for training children. But what can a mother with young children do when there is no father in the home to train the children and assist her? It is obvious that she cannot neglect the children. She cannot spend all her time in sharing the good news and teaching others to the neglect of her family. Nor can she spend all her time worrying about herself, and forgetting about the children that need her attention and care. Hers is the responsibility to train the children, offering them every opportunity within her power to grow up also as children of Jehovah and his Son, Christ Jesus.

⁹ This means her bringing the children to the Christian congregation so that they may associate with the Lord’s people. This can be a great burden if there are a number of young ones in the family, all needing attention. There might be a tendency to give up, feeling that the effort is too much. However, by trusting in Jehovah, making the effort and showing a desire to train the children, she can do much. The same could be said of a husband who must care for children without the aid and support of a wife. Often there are others in the congregation who can lend a helping hand. While they cannot assume the responsibility for the children, they can assist.

WHERE HELP IS TO BE FOUND

10. (a) What are some possible ways of assisting these children? (b) In line with Galatians 6:2, what may be accomplished locally?

¹⁰ It is possible that someone in the congregation can help your children to a degree. For example, there may be a young brother or sister who has struck up a friendship with your son or your daughter and who can study with them, providing wholesome association, and thus encouraging them in the way of righteousness. Perhaps there is a married couple without other heavy responsibilities that could offer some help, thus aiding to bring your children into a closer relationship with the congregation and the brothers and sisters.​—Gal. 6:2.

11. Show how the believing parent can be a fine example to the children.

¹¹ But a parent in such a situation should have in mind providing a good pattern personally for the children, by his or her own association with the congregation and personal upright living. A woman in this circumstance would want to maintain a clean home for the children, and to develop Christian qualities that will show that she is working to set a fine example for others. And though at times there may seem to be reasons for her to become exasperated and to lose self-control, she should call on Jehovah for help and refrain from saying and doing things that would not reflect favorably on her way of life as a Christian. If you have problems along these lines, why not speak to the elders in the congregation? Each circumstance is different and it is not easy to give blanket advice on what to do in all instances. At times children need the rod of discipline, but at other times a straightforward talk with them, appealing to their sense of right and wrong, may suffice. Frustration is one of the greatest enemies in child training. Especially can this be so when there is only one parent doing the work of both the father and the mother. But the calming, soothing words of God, as outlined in the Bible, should be of help to all.​—Prov. 16:24; Isa. 57:15.

ANOTHER PROBLEM OF DIVIDED HOMES

12, 13. (a) Name another problem in divided homes. (b) How can one cope with this problem?

¹² Some whose marriage mates have separated from them, or divorced them, have written to the Watch Tower Society asking for advice on overcoming the loneliness that results from not having their marriage mate with them. This certainly can present problems in the lives of such ones. The Bible’s sound advice is that married people should stay together. (1 Cor. 7:10-13) However, through no fault of the believer, the unbelieving marriage mate may have departed. How does one cope with this problem in life?

¹³ Of course, if a person is separated from his or her marriage mate such one is thereby deprived of the marriage “due.” This can be a cause of anxiety and depression. Under some circumstances the distressed mate can follow Paul’s advice to “make up again,” thus ending the separation. (1 Cor. 7:11) In other circumstances this may not be possible, especially if the marriage mate does not want a reconciliation, or if that one is agreeable only on terms unacceptable to the Christian, such as renouncing the truth or entering into unchristian conduct that defiles the marriage bed.​—Heb. 13:4.

14, 15. What suggestions are offered to believers in these difficult circumstances?

¹⁴ It becomes apparent, therefore, that the Christian will have to make an effort to pursue a course in keeping with Christian principles that will, at the same time, help to combat the depressions and feelings of loneliness that arise. Perhaps it is possible to arrange one’s affairs to spend more time in telling others about God’s kingdom or in studying the Bible with newly interested persons. (Compare Luke 2:36, 37.) Becoming more involved in helping those in need in the congregation is another way of overcoming loneliness.​—Ps. 105:1, 2; Rom. 12:12, 13.

¹⁵ If you are a woman there may be older women in the congregation who need companionship, someone to study with them, or in some way to look after them. That can be one way to spend extra hours profitably, if time hangs heavy on your hands. Why not look around in the congregation and see where you might be able to render that kind of loving assistance to some in the congregation? There is much happiness to be found in this kind of giving. (Acts 20:35) Or there may be other women in the congregation in circumstances similar to yours, perhaps their husbands have left them, or maybe they are widows, and you can have companionship in spending time profitably in some features of the Kingdom service, building one another up spiritually by your association together.

16, 17. Where can one turn for comfort and solace, and what good counsel of Peter should be kept in mind?

¹⁶ There is no doubt that there are difficulties in facing these problems of loneliness and anxiety and depression due to a broken home. But if you heed the advice of the psalmist, to “throw your burden upon Jehovah himself,” you will find that, “he himself will sustain you” and help you to meet successfully even these challenges in life.​—Ps. 55:22.

¹⁷ Always bear in mind the reason why you are in your present circumstances. Since it is because you want to be a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, then certainly God’s Word will bring you much comfort for your course of action. (1 Pet. 3:17) Seek to walk in faithfulness, doing Jehovah’s will, and rest assured that your good conduct will not go unnoticed by our Grand Creator, Jehovah God.​—Matt. 10:36-39.

HAVE JOYFUL ASSOCIATION TOGETHER

18. What gives Jehovah’s servants joyful hope for the future, and what may help, according to John 13:35?

¹⁸ Jehovah, the happy God, has outlined in his Word of truth what it takes to be happy and how genuine joy and happiness can be the lot of true Christians. (1 Tim. 1:11; Matt. 5:3-5) Within the congregations of Jehovah’s people earth wide you will find all kinds of people from all walks of life. They have one thing in common, their faith in Jehovah. That gives them a joyful hope for the future. Like a united family, all of Jehovah’s people are and should be interested in the welfare of their spiritual brothers and sisters. All should be working together exhibiting true fellow feeling and love for one another. After all, Jesus said that people would know that we are his disciples if we have love among ourselves. (John 13:35) This is the identifying mark of true Christianity.

19. (a) As indicated in John chapter 10, how may true happiness be found? (b) How may all have a part in promoting and maintaining happy family arrangements?

¹⁹ World wide, the brotherhood of Jehovah’s people grows by leaps and bounds. Literally tens of thousands are flocking into the fold of the Fine Shepherd, desiring to be led and shepherded by the Lord Jesus Christ. As Jesus so aptly put it: “I am the fine shepherd, and I know my sheep and my sheep know me.” (John 10:14) By staying within the “sheepfold” we will find the blessings, joy and true happiness that are the lot of the servants of Jehovah. Whether married, single, living in divided homes or even in broken homes due to the old world’s problems, all of us together have the prospect of life eternal under the Kingdom arrangement. By our course of action in day-to-day living, and by our putting ourselves in line with the right conduct and discipline outlined in the Holy Scriptures, we can be a living witness to the truth of God’s Word that his servants are indeed a happy people, serving the interests of the eternal kingdom of God and his Son. Each of us, then, can have a part in promoting and maintaining happy family arrangements to the glory of Jehovah’s name!

“An Interchange of Encouragement”

THE following letter was received recently at the central office of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Brooklyn, New York:

“I am writing from the top town of Western Australia, Wyndham, located in the rugged Kimberley Mountains. May this letter find all of you brothers well and busy in the fine work you are doing. We all benefit greatly because you continue to work diligently when preparing the articles for The Watchtower and Awake!, and for this reason I have decided to write to express sincere thanks.

“As our nearest congregation neighbor is 400 miles [640 kilometers] away we are isolated most of the year, and with only ten members in our congregation you can just imagine the tremendous encouragement and spiritual refreshment that the magazines have to offer. The many faith-strengthening experiences have been very helpful to us and certainly, although we have never met these brothers, we can thank them for their faithful stand on God’s side. Truly, we can thank God for such timely spiritual food. I never really appreciated the importance of regular study until moving here to continue ‘pioneering,’ and now Jehovah has opened my eyes to appreciate fully Jesus’ words at Matthew 5:3 and Matthew 4:4.

“Well, brothers, perhaps I could tell you a little about the witness work in this part of the world so that you may be encouraged too.​—Rom. 1:12.

“Our congregation serves an area of about 120,000 square miles [310,000 square kilometers]. There is a large aboriginal population and at the present time we are conducting a few successful studies, which includes one with a prisoner. It is a real challenge trying to communicate successfully with these people, and we are glad for angelic direction; otherwise it would be a most difficult task to discern where genuine interest is.

“An important aspect of our work is to reach the numerous stations (ranches) and this involves great distances to travel in rough and dusty conditions. At one station we left about a hundred books with the natives and we hope that true interest will be found when a return visit is made. To reach one aboriginal reserve, five of us traveled in a small boat for thirty-odd miles [50 kilometers]. On the way back we spotted a few crocodiles and were only too pleased to stand once again on Wyndham soil.

“In Wyndham itself we have recently established a Kingdom Hall on the main street. The Memorial was held in it and we had an attendance of sixteen. Jehovah’s hand certainly has not been short and, as an example, the building was originally advertised for $13,000 (Australian). As we are only a small group an offer of $1,000 was made and accepted!

“So, brothers, although the experiences are not spectacular by any means, I hope you will be encouraged to know that we are happy to serve with you in doing the work of our ‘happy God.’”

Benefiting from Christ’s Headship

NO MAN or group of men but Jesus Christ alone is Head of the Christian congregation. He did not take this honor to himself nor did he gain it by popular consent. None other than his Father granted it to him. Writing to fellow believers in Ephesus, the apostle Paul stated that God ‘made Jesus head over all things to the congregation.’​—Eph. 1:22.

It is only right that Jesus Christ occupy the position of head toward the congregation. His teachings and life course, particularly his sacrificial death, constitute the very basis for the congregation’s existence. No one can be a member of the congregation apart from Jesus Christ. “I,” said Jesus, “am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”​—John 14:6.

Is Christ’s headship ever oppressive? To the contrary, the way in which he handled matters while a man on earth proves that his exercise of headship is loving and compassionate. He patiently explained difficult things to his disciples, never burdening them with more than they were capable of comprehending. Lovingly he looked out for their needs, endeavoring to see to it that they got necessary rest and privacy. On one occasion, when there was “no leisure time even to eat a meal,” Jesus said to his disciples: “Come, you yourselves, privately into a lonely place and rest up a bit.” (Mark 6:31) Finally, Jesus laid down his life for his disciples. As he himself had expressed it, “no one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his soul in behalf of his friends.”​—John 15:13.

Jesus Christ’s exercise of headship never implied that he distrusted his followers. He expressed confidence in their wanting to do the work and the will of his Father. There was, for example, the time that Jesus said: “He that exercises faith in me, that one also will do the works that I do; and he will do works greater than these.”​—John 14:12.

How encouraging it must have been for the disciples to hear these words! As individuals, none of Jesus’ disciples could come close to doing all that their Master did. Yet, collectively, they were able to do greater works. In God’s due time, they were able to bring the “good news” to Jews and non-Jews far beyond Judea, Galilee and Perea, where Jesus had preached. They were instrumental in making far more disciples than Jesus had made during the three and a half years of his earthly ministry. Jesus’ confidence in his true disciples had certainly not been misplaced.

JESUS’ EXERCISE OF HEADSHIP TODAY

The fact that Jesus Christ is not present in the flesh today has in no way diminished his influence toward his disciples. They have his help, guidance and protection just as if he were right here on earth. (Matt. 28:20) How is this possible?

For one thing, the Christian congregation has a reliable record of Jesus’ teachings and life course from four separate sources​—the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The remainder of the Christian Greek Scriptures also focus on Jesus Christ and convey the spirit of his teachings. So when we read those inspired Scriptures and apply them, we show our recognition of Christ’s headship.

Furthermore, Jehovah God has granted his Son authority over a powerful force​—his holy spirit. This is evident from what the apostle Peter said about the outpouring of that spirit on the day of Pentecost in 33 C.E.: “This Jesus God resurrected, of which fact we are all witnesses. Therefore because he was exalted to the right hand of God and received the promised holy spirit from the Father, he has poured out this which you see and hear.”​—Acts 2:32, 33.

Since Jesus Christ poured out the spirit on the disciples, he can also direct them by means of it. Hence, when faced with perplexing problems or trials, true Christians may rest assured of help from their Master. He can, through God’s spirit, bring to their minds appropriate Scriptural guidelines and enable them to see the right course to take.

Thus elders who consider one another as equals and who look to Christ as their head are aided to make sound decisions as they prayerfully consider congregational matters. Their right view of one another and their full recognition of Christ’s headship permit God’s spirit to operate freely on them. (Eph. 4:15, 16) This serves to counteract the effect that the imperfect human element, including inclinations toward personal pride or ambition, might otherwise have when they are trying to solve problems or to make weighty decisions as a body.

Besides God’s spirit, Jesus Christ can use angels to help his congregation. While on earth, he had authority to call on angels for assistance. He said to Peter: “Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father to supply me at this moment more than twelve legions of angels?” (Matt. 26:53) A legion of that time usually numbered 6,000 men. So Jesus could count on the immediate aid of more than 72,000 angels.

The tremendous power of these angels may be appreciated when we note that just one of them, in the time of Judean King Hezekiah, struck down 185,000 of the Assyrian host in one night. (2 Ki. 19:35) By means of his powerful angels, Jesus Christ can protect his disciples from vicious opposers and see to it that his command to make disciples is carried out despite the worst of opposition. That the angels are being used to help the congregation is confirmed by the fact that bans and terrible persecutions have not stopped the disciple-making work. Members of the congregation can say, YES, to the question raised at Hebrews 1:14: “Are they not all spirits for public service, sent forth to minister for those who are going to inherit salvation?”

ELDERS’ POSITION IN RELATION TO CHRIST

Jesus Christ also exercises his headship in the use of men to serve the worldwide congregation, composed of thousands of groups of disciples throughout the earth. (Eph. 4:7, 8, 11-13) Each of these groups or congregations of disciples making up the one congregation usually has a local body of elders. When these elders strive to imitate Jesus’ example and truly reflect the mind of Christ in their teaching, counseling and correcting, the individual congregations are, in effect, being taught, counseled and corrected by Jesus Christ. The person who acts on the wholesome admonition of the elders, appreciating its Scriptural basis, shows that he recognizes Christ’s headship. He is aware of the fact that, because of holding to the Scriptures, they are not speaking on their own authority.

But does this mean that whatever an elder may say should be regarded as if it came from Christ himself? Not necessarily. Like any other member of the congregation, an elder is an imperfect human, subject to making mistakes in word and action. As the disciple James acknowledged: “We all stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in word, this one is a perfect man.” (Jas. 3:2) In view of their weaknesses and imperfections, elders therefore must be careful that they do not allow their personal views to influence their teaching, counsel or correction.

Were elders to handle matters on the basis of personal opinions, likes and dislikes, they would themselves be guilty of ignoring Christ’s headship. They would be lifting themselves up above Jesus Christ, implying that there is something incomplete about the guidance he is giving to the congregation. They would be saying, in effect, that their personal views are needed to supplement Jesus Christ’s teachings.​—Compare 1 Corinthians 3:4-11.

What if an elder thus failed to recognize Christ’s headship? It would then be the responsibility of the other elders to help him to get a proper estimation of himself in relation to Jesus Christ and his brothers. (Phil. 2:2-5) An elder who has made such a mistake would certainly want to heed the Bible-based counsel of his fellow elders and give evidence that he does indeed recognize Christ’s headship. Would the mistake disqualify such an elder from continuing to serve in that capacity? Only if he continued to ignore his fellow elders’ Bible-based correction.

That a serious mistake in judgment would not automatically disqualify one from serving as an elder is well illustrated in the case of the apostle Peter (Cephas). When he wrongly withdrew from association with Gentile Christians, the apostle Paul reproved him. With reference to this, Paul wrote: “When Cephas came to Antioch, I resisted him face to face, because he stood condemned. For before the arrival of certain men from James, he used to eat with people of the nations; but when they arrived, he went withdrawing and separating himself, in fear of those of the circumcised class. The rest of the Jews also joined him in putting on this pretense, so that even Barnabas was led along with them in their pretense. But when I saw they were not walking straight according to the truth of the good news, I said to Cephas before them all: ‘If you, though you are a Jew, live as the nations do, and not as Jews do, how is it that you are compelling people of the nations to live according to Jewish practice?’” (Gal. 2:11-14) Peter accepted this discipline, applied it and, therefore, continued serving as a faithful elder and an apostle.

But what if you are not an elder and feel that one or more of the elders in your congregation are beginning to impose their personal views on others? Consider prayerfully whether you are really looking at matters Scripturally. If there truly is a problem, be confident that Jesus Christ will not allow the congregation to suffer any real spiritual injury. He knows what is happening. (Compare 2 Timothy 2:18, 19 and Revelation 2:2-7.) If your conscience continues to disturb you, you might talk to one of the elders about it with a view to settling your heart and mind. Keep on praying that you will continue to be able to conduct yourself as a loyal disciple of Jesus Christ and thereby to benefit from his exercise of headship.

There can be no question about the fact that Jesus’ headship toward the Christian congregation is real. (Col. 1:13, 14, 18) Our recognizing this is attended by marvelous benefits in the form of protection, guidance and other help. (1 Cor. 11:3) May we, therefore, submit to our Master and continue to experience blessings from his exercise of headship.​—John 14:23.

Finding a Real Purpose in Life

As told by Masakazu Nakamura

MY WARMHEARTED and sincere parents showed keen interest in giving their children a good start in life. Though, like most Japanese, my father was a Buddhist himself, he encouraged me as a boy to attend a Protestant church near our home. There I heard readings from the “New Testament” and became interested in its message. I wanted to tell others about it, and therefore told my classmates at school. In fact, I thought it would be fine to become a clergyman. But on seeing my enthusiasm for this, my father opposed the idea.

Still, I wished to make my purpose in life the serving of others. I decided to become a doctor. This considerably cut into my religious activities. Since the university entrance examination required intensive preparation, I left off attending church. After entering the medical school at Tokyo University, however, I once again started going to church.

At about this time doubts about religion began cropping up in my mind. The message at church was a continual repetition of the same thing. Then my grandfather died. While helping with funeral arrangements I came to have serious misgivings about church doctrine concerning hell and the condition of the dead. So I left the church.

At the university I received no spiritual help of any kind. My thinking became atheistic. I felt lonely, and took up sports to fill what appeared to be a gap in my life. Horseback riding became a regular activity for me.

AN UNEXPECTED CHANGE

Halfway through my second year in medical school something important happened. One day at about noontime a gray-haired lady called at our home and began to talk to me about the Bible. Her name was Kinuko Sakato. Some years previously she had studied with an Australian missionary, Melba Barry, and now she spent her full time sharing Bible truth with others as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Though not immediately believing all that she told me, I was greatly impressed by her zeal and confidence. I asked about the Scriptural teaching regarding “hell.” She arranged to study the Bible with me regularly each week at our home.

We studied first about God’s promise to restore this earth to a paradise. (Matt. 6:9, 10; Luke 23:43; Rev. 21:1-5) The means God would use to accomplish this, I learned, would be his heavenly Kingdom government.​—Dan. 2:44; 7:13, 14, 18; Rev. 5:10.

Mrs. Sakato invited me to attend meetings of Jehovah’s Witnesses. But for a time I preferred to go horseback riding on Sundays. Then she called my attention to what is stated at 1 Timothy 4:8: “Bodily training is beneficial for a little; but godly devotion is beneficial for all things, as it holds promise of the life now and that which is to come.” After about three months of Bible study, I began attending all the meetings at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

After studying the Bible for about ten months, I heard an announcement of arrangements for members of the congregation to go out in the local territory and share Bible truths with their neighbors. “I want to go too,” was my response. That Saturday I joined a group in “field service,” which is what Jehovah’s Witnesses call their public witnessing activities. I came to realize that this was a living faith; and how it delighted me to share it with others! On August 24, 1963, at an international assembly of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Kyoto, I symbolized my dedication to Jehovah God by water baptism.

I WAS ABLE TO DO BOTH

The woman that first called at my home to talk about the Bible was known as a “pioneer.” In this capacity she spent her full time in Christian witnessing activities. I wanted to do the same; but what about my career as a doctor?

I talked to my father about quitting the university. He was a man of experience, being at the time the top general of the Japanese Self-Defense Force. He argued that I was still very young, and that as the eldest son I had a responsibility toward the family. Finally it was agreed that I would continue my university studies through to graduation, obtain my doctor’s license, and then I would be free to choose my own way.

Medical studies proved to be challenging to me in a number of ways. For one thing, there was the temptation to get absorbed in the world of medicine and to make a name for myself as a doctor. It took determination to maintain the desire to become a pioneer. Then there was the problem of blood transfusions, which are an intravenous feeding on blood. The Scriptures command that Christians “abstain . . . from blood.” (Acts 15:19, 20, 28, 29; 21:25) Desiring to live in harmony with this counsel from God, I sought out medical fields where this would not present a problem.

Throughout my university studies I continued to nourish the desire to be a pioneer. After classes I would conduct Bible studies in the homes of people. I filled up spring, summer and winter vacations with full-time sharing of Bible truths with others. In this way I could serve along with other pioneers, and we could encourage one another in this service.

Further opportunity for pioneering on a temporary basis came when student riots broke out at Tokyo University. Since all classes were discontinued for several months, I was able to spend that time pioneering. Firm determination and careful planning, along with Jehovah’s blessing, made it possible for me to achieve both my goals in life. The month after receiving my doctor’s license I entered pioneer service full time.

BLESSINGS FROM SHARING BIBLE TRUTH

Even during my time at the university I received many blessings from searching out opportunities to witness to fellow students. One of my friends was Mitsuharu Tominaga. He had graduated from a Catholic high school, and had noticed much hypocrisy in that religion. I studied the Bible with him to some extent during lunch periods, on the campus lawn. He was interested, but at the time we were very busy with our medical studies. So progress was limited. However, he subscribed to the Watchtower and Awake! magazines, and became an appreciative reader. After graduation, we went our separate ways, but used to correspond at times.

Dr. Tominaga began working at a leading hospital in Tokyo. One day he learned that an elderly missionary had been admitted to the hospital, and he made a point of visiting her. Her name was Mabel Haslett. Dr. Tominaga was delighted to learn that she was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. He visited her daily in her room to ask Bible questions. Everything that he heard impressed him greatly. Out of appreciation, he often brought fruit and flowers for Mabel.

In due course the elderly missionary had to undergo a major operation. Since the issue of blood transfusion was involved, Dr. Tominaga made clear to his fellow physicians why Jehovah’s Witnesses refuse blood; and he personally attended the operation to make sure that blood was not used. Mabel surprised the doctors and everyone else in the hospital by her rapid recovery. She won the love and respect of the hospital staff. In fact, this hospital kindly gave her all treatments and medicines free of charge right up until her death on October 23, 1974.

Moved by what he had learned from the Bible, Dr. Tominaga transferred to a department in the Tokyo University Hospital where he would not have to administer blood transfusions. He studied the Bible diligently with an elder of the Yokohama Yamate Congregation, in the locality of Dr. Tominaga’s home. He now works at the hospital only one day each week. At other times he assists at the medical office of his father in Yokohama. Soon the entire family began studying the Word of God. Now both doctors​—father and son, as well as their wives—​are zealous, baptized witnesses of Jehovah, and the son serves as an elder in the local congregation.

THE JOY OF PIONEERING

During the fourteen years since my baptism, I have had the joy of studying with and helping nineteen persons to dedicate their lives to the true God, Jehovah. An especially fine experience for me was conducting a Bible study with my younger sister.

When I started this study, my sister was already engaged to marry a Protestant who was also president of a local blood donor association. I tactfully witnessed to him too. He was most interested and began to study. They requested that the city overseer of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Kyoto give their wedding talk, and this was arranged. Both continued their Bible studies in Kyoto and were baptized together.

That was not the end of this special joy for me. My new brother-in-law is a pharmacist. He got acquainted with another one of Jehovah’s Witnesses who worked with the same firm. The sister of this man also was a Witness, working as a nutritionist. Now she is my wife, and has served well as my partner in pioneer service. Two days each week I work as a doctor in a local hospital. Otherwise, our days have been filled with the joy of sharing the Bible’s “good news” with our neighbors. (Matt. 24:14) Also, I am serving as an elder in the Igusa Congregation, and more recently as city overseer representing the fifty congregations in Tokyo.

When I think back to the day that Kinuko Sakato called at my home, I still well up with joy. That visit effected a change of attitude in me. Rescued from atheistic thinking, I developed accurate knowledge and firm faith in the Creator of the universe, Jehovah. Serving God full time is indeed a delightful way to be occupied, as I pursue my purpose in life.

Insight on the News

Finance Their “Fun”?

● The U.S. Supreme Court recently ruled that states do not have to finance free abortions for the poor. President Carter, in the face of many cries of “unfair,” backed the court’s ruling, saying that “there are many things in life that are not fair . . . But I don’t believe that the Federal Government should take action to try to make these opportunities exactly equal, particularly when there is a moral factor involved.”

This “moral factor” is one that many people forget in their rush to be what they call “fair.” Putting the matter in perspective: Do you think governments, just to be “fair,” should finance medical bills for blinded eyes and blown-off fingers of poor people who play recklessly with fireworks? Or would it be wiser to discourage playing with fireworks?

Yet how much greater is the moral wrong and danger when people “play” at fornication, the major cause of abortions. For governments to pay for the consequences of such “play” in the name of “fairness” is to say that, because the rich can afford to play the game of wrongdoing, governments should help the poor to do it too! How much wiser for unmarried people, rich or poor, to refrain from such “play,” and for married people to face the responsibility for their own actions.

New Way to Discipline?

● Frustrated parents who have tried every modern method to make their children obey usually fail to do something that works virtually every time. It is “so simple,” says “Psychology Today” magazine, “as to be often overlooked.” Is it some keen new insight into child psychology? No, it is merely ancient wisdom.

The article points out that instead of demanding obedience, parents often “say things like ‘Don’t let me catch you doing that again.’ This is a clear directive to the child to keep doing what he is doing, but to be careful about getting caught.” Parents also will say, “I want you to do your homework,” or similar, but this only expresses parental desire, which the “child may weigh against what HE would like to do.”

To gain obedience, “it is crucial,” declares the article, “that parents begin by stating the demand in unambiguous terms, and it is also necessary that the child know that you really mean what you are saying. You are not ASKING him to do something, you are not WISHING he would do it, but rather you are TELLING him to do it. . . .

“Once a child learns that his parents mean what they say,” it notes, “he will no longer try to con them into letting him have his way.” Parents with the backbone to follow through even in the face of entrenched disobedience will find that their extra efforts now pay future dividends. Actually less effort will be required, as the child learns to respond quickly to reasonable demands, just as the wise Biblical proverb says: “Correct your son and he will give you rest, yes, he will give joy to your soul.”​—Prov. 29:17, “Berkeley” Version.

Forcing Patriotism

● Are the interests of democracy and patriotism best served by mandatory ceremonies? Apparently the Massachusetts legislature thinks so, because it recently overrode the governor’s veto of a law that requires schoolteachers to lead a daily flag-salute ceremony, or be subject to a fine.

One senator had urged his colleagues to vote for the law “in the name of all that is holy and good, apple pie and motherhood.” Another senator agreed, noting that the “first thing we learned after the prayer on our mother’s knees was the pledge of allegiance to the flag.”

The senators arrayed this kind of “logic” against their own State Supreme Court’s ruling that cited a 1943 U.S. Supreme Court decision declaring such laws unconstitutional. “To sustain the compulsory flag salute,” ruled the nation’s highest court, “we are required to say that a Bill of Rights which guards the individual’s right to speak his own mind, left it open to public authorities to compel him to utter what is not in his mind.” In their concurring opinion, Justices Murphy and Black wrote: “Words uttered under coercion are proof of loyalty to nothing but self-interest. Love of country must spring from willing hearts and free minds, inspired by a fair administration of wise laws.”

What Did the Wise Man Mean?

No Discharge from the War of Death

There is one war from which it is humanly impossible to get a discharge. King Solomon wrote on this: “There is no man having power over the spirit [life force] to restrain the spirit; neither is there any power of control in the day of death; nor is there any discharge in the war. And wickedness will provide no escape for those indulging in it.”​—Eccl. 8:8.

At the time of dying a man is powerless. Try what he will, he cannot restrain the spirit so that the life force remains within his body cells, thus keeping himself alive. Dying men simply have no control over the day of death. No human efforts can get a person discharged from the relentless war that the enemy “Death” wages against all. (Rom. 5:14) There is not even a possibility of arranging for a substitute in order to provide oneself with a furlough from death. The inspired psalmist declared: “Not one of them can by any means redeem even a brother, nor give to God a ransom for him; (and the redemption price of their soul is so precious that it has ceased to time indefinite) that he should still live forever and not see the pit.” (Ps. 49:7-9) During their lifetime wicked persons, by astute and devious means, may be able to evade punishment. However, no device, no plan, no scheme can furnish them escape from death.

Coping with What One Sees in an Imperfect World

In this imperfect system, many things are seen that could be very disturbing to us. The wicked may be prospering, while righteous persons are suffering. How can we prevent such things from making us bitter?

Based on careful investigation, King Solomon provided some helpful observations. He wrote: “Because sentence against a bad work has not been executed speedily, that is why the heart of the sons of men has become fully set in them to do bad. Although a sinner may be doing bad a hundred times and continuing a long time as he pleases, yet I am also aware that it will turn out well with those fearing the true God, because they were in fear of him. But it will not turn out well at all with the wicked one, neither will he prolong his days that are like a shadow, because he is not in fear of God.”​—Eccl. 8:11-13.

As Solomon here pointed out, human justice may be lax and human courts may be painfully slow or even negligent in executing sentence against bad works. Because of not being punished for their lawlessness, the wicked think that they are getting away with something and therefore become firmly established in their bad ways. But their badness does not bring any reward. Their life passes quickly, “like a shadow,” and no scheme of theirs can lengthen it. On the other hand, righteous persons are not really put at a permanent disadvantage. True, others may make things hard for them. Nevertheless, a person’s having a wholesome regard for or “fear” of the Creator still works to his benefit. The righteous person preserves a clean conscience, finds contentment and satisfaction in doing what he knows to be right, and, if he dies as an approved servant of God, he has the hope of being raised from the dead. Thus, in the final analysis, everything ‘turns out well’ for those fearing Jehovah God.

If he is confident that the Most High will reward those fearing him, a person will not become bitter when he witnesses what Solomon next describes: “There exists a vanity that is carried out on the earth, that there exist righteous ones to whom it is happening as if for the work of the wicked ones, and there exist wicked ones to whom it is happening as if for the work of the righteous ones. I said that this too is vanity.” (Eccl. 8:14) Jehovah God is not to blame for such injustice. It is “a vanity that is carried out on the earth”​—something for which imperfect humans are responsible. At times this is due to official corruption, at other times it is simply due to a lack of knowledge or appreciation of God’s fine standards set forth in his Word.

The God-fearing person does not permit the world’s inequities to spoil his enjoyment of life. He realizes that he simply cannot change what God till now has tolerated among humans, and he therefore acts in agreement with Solomon’s words: “I myself commended rejoicing, because mankind have nothing better under the sun than to eat and drink and rejoice, and that it should accompany them in their hard work for the days of their life, which the true God has given them under the sun.” (Eccl. 8:15) Yes, the best course in life is to maintain a proper fear of the Creator while finding satisfaction from work and through wholesome enjoyment of food and drink. For a person to worry and fret about all the wrongs in this system would only be frustrating and would detract from the enjoyment of life. It could ruin his own spirituality and happiness. Fretting or complaining will not speed up the relief due to come through God’s removal of the present order and its replacement by a righteous new order.​—Ps. 37:5-7.

Furthermore, nothing is gained by trying to discover some rule or formula that might explain in full and exact detail why things happen as they do in this world. Wise King Solomon and others long ago made a careful survey of human affairs. Yet they could not discover such a precise rule by which to determine just what to expect in every case. Solomon remarked: “In accord with this I applied my heart to know wisdom and to see the occupation that is carried on in the earth, because there is one seeing no sleep with his eyes, either by day or by night. And I saw all the work of the true God, how mankind are not able to find out the work that has been done under the sun; however much mankind keep working hard to seek, yet they do not find out. And even if they should say they are wise enough to know, they would be unable to find out.”​—Eccl. 8:16, 17.

Note that Solomon referred to the things that take place among mankind as the “work of the true God.” This can be said because everything occurs at his permission or toleration, but not because God initiates, backs up or approves of all that is done. Even though a person may sacrifice sleep, he simply will not be able to fathom the full scope of what God does and tolerates in the eventual outworking of his grand purpose. This is the thought conveyed by Moffatt’s translation of King Solomon’s words: “When I gave my mind to the study of wisdom, to study all the busy life of the world, I found that man is unable to grasp the truth of all that God is doing in this world; he may labour in his efforts to attain it, in a sleepless quest for it by day and night, but he will never find it out; a wise man may think he is coming on the secret, but even he will never find it out.”​—Eccl. 8:16, 17.

Do You Remember?

Have you read the recent issues of The Watchtower carefully? If so, you will doubtless recall these points:

● When is singleness by choice truly rewarding?

Singleness is rewarding when the reason for it is a spiritual one, the desire to have more time to devote in serving others and helping them to seize the grand reward of everlasting life.​—P. 265.

● At Ezekiel 31:4, what is represented by ‘the waters that make the symbolic cedar in Lebanon grow big’?

In the Scriptures, waters represent ‘peoples, crowds and nations.’ (Rev. 17:1, 15) Hence, the waters stand for the peoples or human resources from which the symbolic cedar draws its support.​—Pp. 305, 310.

● Why did the prophet Habakkuk say that he was in line for reproof from Jehovah? (Hab. 2:1)

Habakkuk found it hard to understand how Jehovah God could use the ruthless, idolatrous Chaldeans to execute His judgment against the kingdom of Judah. Since he was questioning the Most High’s use of the Chaldeans, who viewed men as mere fish and creeping things to be captured and subdued, the prophet recognized that he had to be helped to see this matter in the right perspective. He, therefore, waited for a further revelation from Jehovah so as to be set straight.​—P. 349.

● How should the fact that God’s eyes always are upon us affect us for good? (Prov. 15:3)

It should move us to conduct ourselves at all times in a way that is pleasing to him, recognizing that we are in his presence.​—Pp. 355, 356.

● What warning lessons can we draw from the attitudes and actions of the Pharisees in the first century C.E.?

We must watch that we do not become righteous in our own eyes and fail to show Godlike consideration for human needs and feelings. A person who becomes a stickler for man-made rules may come to overlook the truly important things​—justice, faithfulness, mercy and love. Overconfidence in one’s own righteousness can lead to looking down on one’s fellow believers, failing to treat them as beloved brothers and sisters.​—Pp. 381, 382.

● In what respects are Bible prophecies different from the predictions made by fortunetellers?

Often the predictions made by fortunetellers are vague, or incorrect, or pertain to matters of little importance. But Bible prophecies have been specific and, as demonstrated by the facts of history, have been fulfilled to the smallest of details. They have dealt with vital matters affecting the future of peoples and entire nations.​—Pp. 387, 388.

● As is evident from Lamentations 3:19, 20, what is one way in which Jehovah God demonstrated his great humility?

At Lamentations 3:19, 20, the prophet Jeremiah expresses the confidence that the Most High would eventually remember repentant ones of the nation of Israel that had been laid low in defeat. He would “bow low” or stoop down to give favorable attention to them.​—P. 444.

Questions From Readers

● What point was the apostle Paul making at 2 Corinthians 2:15, 16 when referring to himself and his associates as an “odor”?

The apostle Paul wrote: “To God we are a sweet odor of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the latter ones an odor issuing from death to death, to the former ones an odor issuing from life to life.”​—2 Cor. 2:15, 16.

These words can be better understood when considering features of the Roman triumphal processions. When the returning victorious army would pass through the city of Rome in processions, incense burning on temple altars perfumed the air. The aroma of that incense meant different things to different people. For the triumphant soldiers, the odor was sweet, portending honors, promotion and riches. But to the unpardoned captives who were paraded through the streets, the burning incense was but an unpleasant reminder of the fact that they would be executed at the end of the procession. Similarly, the message proclaimed by the apostle Paul and his associates was like a delightful odor to those who accepted it but a stench to those who rejected it.

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