This publication is not for sale. It is provided as part of a worldwide Bible educational work supported by voluntary donations. To make a donation, please visit donate.jw.org. Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the modern-language New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures.

Is technology your master or your servant? Many would say that they control their devices, not the other way around. But technology can affect people subtly in ways they do not realize​—even in ways they do not want.

However, some people who primarily use technology to maintain friendships tend to . . .

• show less empathy for their friends.

• feel more lonely and empty.

• focus more on self than on others.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

EMPATHY

Empathy requires that we slow down and patiently consider another person​—something that may seem difficult to achieve with an overload of social media posts and rapid-fire texting.

In time, if technology is controlling you, responding to your friends’ messages can seem like another chore on your to-do list. Your goal becomes to clear out your in-box rather than to help a friend in need.

TO THINK ABOUT: How can you maintain “fellow feeling” when you use technology to communicate with friends?​—1 PETER 3:8.

EMPTINESS

One study found that many people felt worse after browsing through a popular social media platform. The researchers concluded that looking at the pictures and updates of others can leave a person with “a feeling of not having done anything meaningful.”

Furthermore, looking at the exciting photos others have posted can lead to negative comparisons. After all, it may seem as if everyone else were having a good time, while your own life is in a rut.

TO THINK ABOUT: When using social media, how can you avoid negatively comparing yourself with others?​—GALATIANS 6:4.

SELF-FOCUS

One teacher notes that some of her students seem inclined toward one-sided friendships in which their greatest concern is, “Who has my back?”a Such friendships focus merely on what one gets out of the relationship. A person could start to view his friends as apps that can be used and shut off as needed.

TO THINK ABOUT: Does what you post online show that you may have the tendency to be competitive or to focus too much on yourself?​—GALATIANS 5:26.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

EXAMINE YOUR USE OF TECHNOLOGY

When technology is your servant rather than your master, it will help you keep in touch with your friends and even draw closer to them.

Note the suggestions you would like to implement, or write down your own ideas.

• Have more in-person conversations (rather than solely relying on texting or email)

• Put away (or silence) the phone when conversing with others

• Cut back on the time spent scrolling through social media

• Become a better listener

• Contact a friend who is going through a hard time

At the same time, some have noted that young people who spend a lot of time online tend to . . .

• develop a dependency on their devices.

• become involved in cyberbullying.

• be exposed to pornography, whether or not by choice.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

DEPENDENCY

Some online activities​—gaming, for example—​tend to be highly addictive. That is no accident. “The apps on our phones are designed to keep us at our phones,” says the book Reclaiming Conversation. The longer we stare at commercial apps on our screens, the more profitable we become to advertisers.

TO THINK ABOUT: Do your children seem overly attached to their devices? How can you help them make better use of their time?​—EPHESIANS 5:15, 16.

CYBERBULLYING

When online, some people become more aggressive, vulgar, and insensitive to others’ feelings​—traits that can lead to bullying.

Some misuses of social media can be related to a person’s inordinate desire to be liked or followed. Or if a person finds out he was not included in some way​—for example, he sees he was not invited to a party—​this could make him feel as if he were being bullied.

TO THINK ABOUT: Do your children use proper manners online? (Ephesians 4:31) How well do they deal with feeling excluded?

PORNOGRAPHY

The Internet has made lewd content easily available and accessible. Parents should realize that while filters can help, they are not foolproof.

Sexting​—sending or receiving explicit personal images, usually via smartphone—​can have legal consequences. In some cases, depending on local laws and the ages of those involved, people who sext can be charged with spreading child pornography.

TO THINK ABOUT: How can you help your children resist the temptation to view or send sexually explicit images online?​—EPHESIANS 5:3, 4.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN

Although “digital natives” may use technology with remarkable ease, they still need guidance. The book Indistractable notes that giving children a smartphone or other device before they have the skills to use it properly is “just as irresponsible as letting them jump headfirst into a pool without knowing how to swim.”

Note the suggestions you would like to implement, or write down your own ideas.

• Discuss proper online conduct and manners with my child

• Help my child deal with feelings of exclusion

• Block inappropriate content to the extent possible

• Check my child’s phone periodically

• Set a time limit for daily usage

• Prohibit devices in my child’s bedroom overnight

• Ban devices at the dinner table

However, some spouses allow misuse of technology to . . .

• rob them of valuable time together.

• bring work into the home unnecessarily.

• create distrust and even disloyalty.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

TIME TOGETHER

A husband named Michael says: “Sometimes when my wife and I are together, she isn’t really ‘there.’ She’s busy looking at her phone, and she says, ‘I haven’t been able to check until now.’” A husband named Jonathan says that in such situations “spouses can be physically together and yet seem miles apart.”

TO THINK ABOUT: How often does a phone call, text, or notification interfere with quality time that could be spent with your spouse?​—EPHESIANS 5:33.

WORK

Some people have to be available around the clock because of the nature of their secular work. Others, whose jobs are not so demanding, still find it difficult to leave their job behind them at the end of the day. “It’s hard not to check every phone call or text message that I receive for work during time that I’ve set aside to spend with my wife,” admits a husband named Lee. A wife named Joy says: “I work from home, so work is always present. It takes effort to be balanced.”

TO THINK ABOUT: Do you give undivided attention to your spouse when he or she is speaking to you?​—LUKE 8:18.

LOYALTY

One poll found that suspicious use of social media was a common cause of marital fights. Ten percent of those surveyed admitted posting material online that they keep hidden from their spouse.

For good reason, social media has been called a “marriage minefield” and even “an adultery service.” Not surprisingly, divorce lawyers say that social media plays a significant role in many of today’s marriage breakups.

TO THINK ABOUT: Do you hide from your spouse communications with someone of the opposite sex?​—PROVERBS 4:23.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

SET PRIORITIES

A person who neglects eating will not stay healthy. Similarly, a person who neglects spending time with his or her spouse will find it difficult to maintain a healthy marriage.​—Ephesians 5:28, 29.

Discuss which suggestions below you would like to implement, or write down your own ideas for keeping technology from interfering with your marriage.

• Have at least one meal together each day

• Create periods of time to unplug from our devices

• Schedule a date night or other special time together

• Keep our devices off at night, away from where we sleep

• Set aside 15 minutes daily to talk to each other, without devices nearby

• Turn off Internet access at a specified time

However, many who make extensive use of technology find that they . . .

• have difficulty concentrating while reading.

• have trouble focusing on one task at a time.

• become quickly bored in moments of solitude.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

READING

Some browse and scan material instead of patiently following an author’s train of thought.

Skim-reading is fine when you need to find a quick answer to a question. However, it can hinder comprehension when you need to consider a subject more deeply.

TO THINK ABOUT: How well are you able to read long passages of text? How can doing so improve your learning?​—PROVERBS 18:15.

FOCUS

Some people assume that technology gives them the ability to perform two tasks at a time​—for example, to text friends while studying. But when their attention is divided, they may not perform either task well, especially when both require concentration.

Focus requires self-discipline, but it is well worth the effort. “You make fewer mistakes and have less stress,” says a teenager named Grace. “I’ve learned that it’s better to concentrate on one thing at a time and avoid the distraction of multitasking.”

TO THINK ABOUT: Does multitasking interfere with your ability to comprehend and remember what you study?​—PROVERBS 17:24.

SOLITUDE

Some people become uneasy when they are alone in quiet surroundings, and they turn to technology to fill the void. “I get bored within 15 minutes if I don’t check my phone or tablet or turn on the TV,” admits a woman named Olivia.

However, periods of solitude provide a valuable opportunity for deep thinking​—an essential part of learning, not only for young people but also for adults.

TO THINK ABOUT: Are you able to use periods of solitude to your advantage?​—1 TIMOTHY 4:15.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

EXAMINE YOUR USE OF TECHNOLOGY

In what ways could you use technology to enhance your thinking skills? What uses could interfere with your ability to concentrate and learn?

How to improve my marriage

See the article “How to Keep Technology in Its Place.”

How to teach my children good values

See the article “Teaching Children Smartphone Sense.”

How to deal with anxiety about the future

See the cover series “What Does the Future Hold?”

The Bible can help you and your family to get the best out of life now and gain a real hope for the future.

ALSO AVAILABLE ON JW.ORG: Online Bible Study Lessons. Free. No registration required.

HOW DOES TECHNOLOGY AFFECT . . .

• Your Friendships?

• Your Children?

• Your Marriage?

• Your Thinking?