Vegvísir

July 22

Page Two

p. 2

Page Two

Many see marriage as a throwaway affair, no longer a lifelong commitment. Lax morals, alcoholism, economic independence for women, me-first philosophies​—a few causes of marriage failure. As a result, marriage counseling has become a growth industry. The armies of counselors have in their ranks practitioners of varying styles and standards. If you were in need of marriage counseling, where would you turn? This series of articles may help you decide

Do You Need a Marriage Counselor? 3

Will the Counselor Respect Our Conscience? 6

How to Give Counsel That Really Helps 8

    Do You Need a Marriage Counselor?

    pp. 3–5

    Do You Need a Marriage Counselor?

    “WHEN Mom and Dad had problems they had family and friends to turn to. But my job has stranded us a thousand miles from home. Our marriage is falling apart. Jane and I have no one to turn to but a marriage counselor.”

    John and Jane are young. They are Christians. And they are newlyweds. John is lamenting a time long gone and far away when his great-grandparents were newlyweds, about the turn of this century. At that time divorce was not as common as it is now​—it was enough then to ruin a person’s reputation! Shortly after World War II his grandparents were still living in the “old home place,” amid the traditional network of relatives, friends, the Sunday preacher and the family doctor. They were successfully holding their marriage together at a time when the divorce rate had exploded by about 300 percent.

    It had gone up another 20 percent by the time John’s parents got married. Today John and Jane are embarking on married life in a world where 60 percent of marriages in Sweden end in divorce, 44 percent in the United States, 43 percent in the Dominican Republic, 30 percent in Germany and England, and 28 percent in the Soviet Union.

    Mobile societies, industrial turmoil, political coups, modern education and religious upheavals throw families into a maelstrom of confusion. Many family members no longer identify with the traditional roles of husbands, wives and children. In America, Sweden, England and South America marriage values are changing. Many see marriage as a throw-away affair, no longer a lifelong commitment.

    Lax moral attitudes, alcoholism, drugs, economic independence for women, status seeking, self-interest overreaching mutual concerns, depression, nuclear fears, romantic notions of love​—all are blamed for the modern instability of marriage. Yet no matter how many scapegoats are found, Dr. Emily Mudd, a professor of family studies at the University of Pennsylvania, maintains that contentions between family members usually boil down to one basic complaint: “A person fails to consider his spouse’s feelings, needs, values and goals, or acts in disregard of them.”​—The Encyclopedia of Mental Health.

    In the case of Christian couples, like John and Jane, with marital problems, it may be a failure in some respects to “put on the new personality” and to exercise such godly qualities as love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control.​—Ephesians 4:22-24; Galatians 5:22, 23.

    The Marriage Counselor

    John and Jane still love each other, so how will they try to save their marriage? They plan to go to a stranger, a professional marriage counselor. But what are they getting involved in?

    The professional marriage counselor is a modern phenomenon. He​—or she—​appeared on the scene in very recent decades​—but at what a pace! “Counseling by child psychiatrists or family counselors has become a major growth industry,” according to the magazine U.S.News & World Report. A growing army of professional counselors​—psychiatrists, psychologists, clergymen (pastoral counselors), doctors, lawyers, teachers, marriage and family therapists, social workers and persons with degrees in behavioral science—​have replaced the felicitous but nonprofessional counselors and advisers of bygone days.

    After World War II, marriage counseling began to gain popularity in the United States. Now leading educational institutions have proliferated with masters and doctoral degrees in a field that has become a health profession on its own.

    What Is Marriage Counseling?

    Marriage counseling is, according to the Michigan, U.S.A., board that certifies marriage counselors, “guidance, testing, discussions, therapy, instruction, or the giving of advice, the principal purpose of which is to avoid, eliminate, relieve, manage or resolve marital conflicts or discord, or create, improve, or restore marital harmony.”

    That sounds exactly like what John and Jane need. However, this is but one of hundreds of definitions of marriage counseling. The science of behavior (of the body, the mind, the nervous system) is one thing. Efforts to apply that science has spawned myriads of theories and practices. Psychologist Allen S. Bernsten of Floridaa describes four schools of psychotherapy that, in turn, break up into 130 subschools:

    Analytical: The therapist tries to explore unconscious motivations or why you behave the way you do. He explores earlier childhood memories, which may open insights into your actions now.

    Behavioral: In this approach he is less concerned about your inner motivations. Rather, he tries to change your undesirable habits or behavior by training and conditioning.

    Humanistic: In this approach the therapist places greater emphasis on self-awareness, self-growth, self-responsibility, to bring about changes in you and your actions.

    Transpersonal: He tries to help you rise above it all and merge with some “universal will.” This one can get really mystical.

    One survey concluded that 64 percent of marriage counselors make up their own style out of a profusion of theories and methods. Yet many counselors seem to have a similar aim. Dr. Usha Anand, a marriage counselor in India, wrote that “the aim of marital counseling . . . is to strengthen the family unit and family unity.” Professor of child and family relations at the University of Connecticut, Dr. Eleanor Luckey, describes marriage counseling as “counseling two individuals plus a relationship.”

    And counselors do share a common goal: communication. They try to develop and build more effective methods of communication between the couple.

    Are They Qualified?

    Some states and countries license marriage counselors as a separate profession. However, according to Australian psychiatrist Dr. William Carrington, due to a shortage of trained counselors, there are many subprofessionals doing marriage counseling in Great Britain, Australia and New Zealand. In some countries in Africa, Asia and South America marriage counseling is being performed by seemingly untrained priests, ministers, physicians, educators and community leaders.

    “Marriage counseling,” concludes psychologist and counselor Dr. William Nichols, “is an emergent profession, a quasi-profession, and an amateur activity, a field that is populated by highly skilled, clinically sophisticated practitioners at one extreme and by well meaning but incompetent amateurs at the other.”

    So John and Jane have to do a lot of investigating if they go ahead with their plan to consult a marriage counselor. But, as a young married couple, there is one item of information they are doubtless intensely interested in:

    How Much Does It Cost?

    In the United States fees vary from free counseling at some community mental health centers to hourly rates for nonprofit clinics based on a sliding scale up to $45 or so. Private practitioners, from social workers to psychiatrists, charge from $35 to $150​—whatever the market will bear.

    Is marriage counseling effective? “Many counselors say two-thirds of their clients are helped,” according to Consumer Life Magazine. Psychologist Morris B. Parloff of the National Institute of Mental Health says, “All forms of psychotherapy tend to be reasonably useful for patients who are highly motivated, experience acute discomfort, show a high degree of personality organization, are reasonably well educated, have had some history of social success and recognition, are reflective, and can experience and express emotion.”

    However, many pros and cons are thrown about. Internationally known marriage counselor Jay Haley concludes that therapists are sure neither of their techniques nor of their results. That is why, he says, they are reluctant to publish their findings.

    [Footnotes]

    a Dr. Bernsten emphasizes the difference between general counseling (the philosophy) and therapy (the science). While the difference in some cases may be mostly a matter of degree, it is in therapy that the professional treats deep-seated neurotic problems.

      Will the Counselor Respect Your Conscience?

      pp. 6–7

      Will the Counselor Respect Your Conscience?

      WE HOPE that John and Jane will not be shocked when they sit down with their counselor. He may tell them that by all means their marriage is worth saving. That is doubtless what they hope to hear. On the other hand, he may tell them: “A good divorce is better than a bad marriage.” “We don’t call it marriage counseling anymore,” says Earl Beatt, executive director of the Family and Children’s Service in Minneapolis. “We call it ‘relationship counseling.’”

      The circumspect counselor tries to show you where you really stand in the road. He may indicate what it could be like if you take the left fork or if you take the right fork. If he tries to nudge you either way, you have to consider what his perspective is, what his values are, whether they are good or bad.

      For instance, what if you have strong convictions about Bible principles? Dr. Lawrence Onoda, a clinical psychologist, says:

      “For the most part, most marriage counselors advocate a neutral position regarding religion in general. While not supporting it, their official position is to be accepting and nonjudgmental toward people with different views.”

      He adds, however, “Marriage counselors in general proceed on the premise that there are no universal ‘truths’ such as reflected in the Bible. Most marriage counselors base their standards of marriage on theories men have devised or on their own personal beliefs.”

      So what is going to happen to John and Jane? They may, like some couples, be helped by marriage counselors. Or they may, like others, be lost somewhere in that maze of marriage theorists and atheistic professionals.

      But you, what if you were in need of marriage counseling? Where would you turn? If you are a Christian, would you want a counselor who respected the wisdom of the Maker of marriage and his Wonderful Counselor?​—Genesis 2:18-24; Isaiah 9:6.

      Before choosing a counselor, consider the following information. It should prove helpful.

      [Box on page 6, 7]

      Which counselor do you choose?

      While there are marriage counselors with high moral standards of their own, and some who will sincerely respect your conscientious scruples, even as do many physicians and surgeons, the standards of others vary to the extreme. This is illustrated in the following quotations. What are compared here are not facts or scientific accuracies, but the moral values you may encounter in different sources of counsel.

      THE BIBLE

      “Deaden, therefore, your body members . . . as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire . . . for you know that it is from Jehovah you will receive the due reward of the inheritance. . . . Certainly the one that is doing wrong will receive back what he wrongly did, and there is no partiality.”​—Colossians 3:5, 24, 25.

      “‘What God has yoked together let no man put apart.’ . . . Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.”​—Matthew 19:6, 9.

      “Law is promulgated, not for a righteous man, but for . . . fornicators, men who lie with males.”​—1 Timothy 1:9, 10.

      “Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.”​—Hebrews 13:4.

      PSYCHOLOGIST

      “Some of the more guilt-ridden and faint-hearted youth are deterred by fear of pregnancy, of venereal disease and of alleged wrath of a vindictive Jehovah from engaging in premarital sexual intercourse. . . . It is only because we keep reciting rigidly to ourselves the moral ditty about the catastrophic nature of premarital coitus that we cannot even clearly see, let alone do anything constructive about, our completely unnecessary, utterly idiotic premarital sexual morality.”​—Dr. Robert Harper in “Moral Issues in Marital Counseling,” Marital Counseling, pages 332, 333.

      “A sex ethic should be constructed solely for the welfare of living and future human beings and not to please . . . any assumed supernatural beings.”​—Dr. Harper.

      MARRIAGE COUNSELOR

      “Premarital sex has its values if it keeps people from getting married who otherwise would get married only for the sake of having sex. . . . As a society we have no right to deny the joys of sex to people who do not marry, or who marry late by choice or by necessity, or who have lost a mate by death or divorce.”​—Charlotte Holt Clinebell in “Counseling for Liberation,” Creative Pastoral Care and Counseling Series, page 30.

      “Another increasingly viable lifestyle for many people as we broaden our perspective on what it means to be human, is that of homosexuality. . . . Ministers and counselors could be influential in changing attitudes which make a person feel less than human simply because she or he behaves differently from the majority.”​—Clinebell.

      CLERGYMAN

      “Any law can be set aside if it would be more loving to the most people to do so. . . . Nothing is rigid. Love is for people and not necessarily for principles.”​—Dr. Ace Tubbs in “The Moral and Ethical Problems in Pastoral Counseling,” Marital Counseling, page 445.

      SOCIAL REFORMERS

      “If partners in an open marriage do have outside sexual relationships, it is on the basis of their own internal relationship​—that is because they have experienced mature love, have real trust and are able to expand themselves, to love and enjoy others and to bring that love and pleasure back into their marriage without jealousy.”​—Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill, Open Marriage, page 257.

      Not all professional counselors hold such anti-Bible views. The fact that some do, though, shows that persons planning on seeking professional advice need to exercise extreme care. Following the counsel of someone with such unchristian ideas will make their situation worse, not better.

        How to Give Counsel That Really Helps

        pp. 8–13

        How to Give Counsel That Really Helps

        “FROM the beginning of creation ‘He made them male and female. On this account a man will leave his father and mother, and the two will be one flesh’; so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” With these words Jesus Christ described how the Creator arranged for marriage between the first human pair, thus forming the nucleus of human society. And it was meant to last, as Jesus went on to show: “What God yoked together let no man put apart.”​—Mark 10:6-9.

        In view of this, we can see that there was an alternative for John and Jane. True, many professional counselors are sincere, well-meaning and well-trained people who may be able to help a troubled marriage. We sincerely hope that John and Jane met up with this kind. But as Christians, they could also have given consideration to the help that the Author of marriage, Jehovah God, provides in his Word, the Bible.

        The Bible was inspired by the Originator of marriage. If you extract from it all that it says about marriage, you will have a handbook, a divinely provided set of perfect principles that are designed to produce a perfect marriage. You might wonder, then, in view of this, why a Christian marriage would ever go wrong. Since we have the Bible as ‘a lamp to our foot, and a light to our roadway,’ why should a Christian couple like John and Jane ever need outside help in their marriage?​—Psalm 119:105.

        The answer, as the Bible itself realistically tells us, is that while God’s principles are perfect, we who have to apply them are all still imperfect. (Deuteronomy 32:4; Romans 5:12) To the extent that we fail to apply God’s perfect principles, to that extent we need help.

        Additionally, our problems are made worse by the “critical times hard to deal with” in which we live. (2 Timothy 3:1) “Today’s conflicts are so complex they defy resolving through one’s attempts to be objective with oneself,” says psychologist Allen S. Bernsten. Often we need one another’s help in handling life’s difficulties: “Go on carrying the burdens of one another”; “speak consolingly to the depressed souls, support the weak, be long-suffering toward all.”​—Galatians 6:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:14.

        The “Wonderful Counselor”

        The Bible, at Isaiah 9:6, foretells the coming of Christ in various roles. One of these is as a “Wonderful Counselor.” A provision through which he makes needed counsel available is the congregation. Some of the older, mature, responsible men are made elders, or shepherds, to assist members in distress, including married couples. They are the ones promised by God when he said: “I will bring back again . . . counselors for you as at the start.”​—Isaiah 1:26; 1 Timothy 3:1-7; 1 Peter 5:1-4; Jeremiah 3:15; Isaiah 32:1, 2.

        Would John and Jane have been wise to seek help from such counselors before going to strangers? Well, it has to be recognized that elders are not trained professionals, equipped to understand or treat all kinds of mental health problems. Their field, rather, is with spiritual problems. However, in such things as marriage counseling, the distinction between spiritual, emotional and mental difficulties is not always clear. And the truth is, most professional counselors are not qualified to handle spiritual problems. Hence, qualified Christian elders do have something valuable to contribute.

        The Art of Counseling

        However, like teaching, counseling is an art that needs to be studied and developed. (Titus 1:9) It may be that some elders need help in certain areas in order that their counsel will be most effective. Here, too, the Bible can help because it not only tells us what to say but also tells us how to say it. Interestingly, many of the suggestions the Bible gives us are similar to what the more effective professional counselors use in their work. Let us discuss a few of them.

        Attitude toward subjects. The first-century Christian counselor Paul wrote to one congregation: “We became gentle in the midst of you, as when a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So, [we had] a tender affection for you.” (1 Thessalonians 2:7, 8) What a fine spirit! Those giving counsel need to treat their subjects as persons in need of help, not as wrongdoers who have to be judged. It is not so much an occasion to criticize, condemn or reprimand as it is to understand, to be reassuring that the problems can be solved and life be worth living.

        One psychologist made a similar comment, by remarking: “They don’t need our punishment or chastisement, they merely want to be helped.”

        A time to listen. “When anyone is replying to a matter before he hears it, that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation.” (Proverbs 18:13) This is fine advice. An effective counselor faced with a serious problem does not toss a prescriptionlike answer “off the top of his head” and call it counseling. Like a medical doctor or an attorney he arranges an appointment so that the matter can be given thorough examination.

        A professional counselor is trained to listen. However long it takes, no matter how many sessions are necessary, he seeks understanding by listening. Should a Christian counselor do less? Remember, the young man Elihu who gave good counsel to Job and his three “friends,” first ‘waited for their words’ and ‘gave ear to their reasonings.’​—Job 32:11.

        While listening, the counselor needs to exercise well-developed powers of perception, probing discreetly under the surface in order to draw out the inner motivations of his subject. The Christian counselor has a wonderful help in doing that. What help? The Bible. What it contains is spoken of as being alive and exerting power, and “able to discern thoughts and intentions of the heart.”​—Hebrews 4:12.

        Recognizes individuality. The wise counselor appreciates that no two persons or situations are exactly identical, and there are no pat answers to be dispensed like pills. Hence, he studies so that what he says may “be always with graciousness, seasoned with salt, so as to know how [he] ought to give an answer to each one.”​—Colossians 4:6.

        A psychologist reports that some patients have grown so despondent that they say, “I am worthless. I am unworthy of any loving-kindness from others.” How could a Christian counselor help such persons? He could speak to them something like this: ‘Jesus told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.’ He could then help them to reason along this line: ‘What if we have no self-worth or self-respect? What, then, do we have left for our neighbor? If Jesus died for us, our life must be precious, no matter how we have besmirched it. We are created in God’s image and thus are capable of reflecting his qualities in our personalities. What we need to do, then, is to work toward putting on a new personality. That includes dealing rewardingly with our own selves.’​—Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 10:45; Colossians 3:9, 10.

        Genuine Concern

        Jesus, in dealing with people, was always humble, never haughty, self-seeking or egotistical. (Matthew 11:28, 29; Philippians 2:5-8) The apostle Paul encouraged Christians to imitate that attitude, cultivating tender affection and compassion and “doing nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with lowliness of mind.” (Philippians 2:1-3) Successful counselors recognize their own need for humility and genuine concern.

        Similarly, well-known psychologist Carl Rogers portrays the counselor as “someone who is genuine without facade, empathetic.” It is what another psychologist terms a “positive regard”: “It means that he prizes his client as a person, with somewhat the same quality of feeling that a parent feels for his child, prizing him as a person.” There is a danger to watch out for here, though. If the counselor is dealing with a married couple, that is fine. If, however, he is dealing with just the wife, he must be careful that the wife does not become too dependent on him for sympathy and concern, to the exclusion of her husband.

        How to Communicate

        As noted previously, the successful counselor stresses communication. Real communication involves more than giving and getting information. First, you really say what you mean. Second, the respondent really hears what you say.

        Next, do not jump to a conclusion or hasty interpretation of what you hear. To make sure, ask a question, or several questions. Request a restatement. Make sure what is said is what is meant. And that what is meant is what is said. “Is this what you mean?” “Let me make sure I understand you.”

        The words someone speaks may sometimes give hints of things that lie under the surface, things that go very deep or a long way back. The effective counselor is skilled in getting at such meanings by the use of questions.

        Questions to gather information: “How long have you been having marital problems?” “What seem to be the areas of disagreement?” “How long have you been married?” “Husband (or wife), what are your responsibilities around the house?” These are samples.

        Questions that reveal feelings, viewpoints, attitudes: “How do you feel about your marriage?” “Do you love each other?” “How do you view your role as husband (or wife)?”

        Questions that help subjects reason or draw conclusions: “Why do you think it is important to follow God’s principles on marriage?” “Why does unselfish love bring benefits to the marriage?” “Why do you think your mate feels unloved by you?” “If God forgives you, how should you feel about your mate’s imperfections?”

        It is vital that the one giving counsel should imitate Jehovah and be impartial. (1 Peter 1:17) He should not jump to premature conclusions or allow his own preconceived ideas to color his judgment. If the wife is somewhat emotional, the counselor may jump to the conclusion that she is rebellious and he may side with the husband from the outset. Or something in the personality of the husband may make the counselor initially more sympathetic to the wife. Both are traps to be avoided.

        If you do take sides, cautions one psychologist, “you are almost guaranteed failure . . . you are then not helping​—you’re . . . in fact judging. . . . The story given to you [by one party] is not necessarily the accurate one.” This is in harmony with the Bible’s warning: ‘The one first in his legal case may appear righteous, but his opponent comes in and certainly searches him through.’​—Proverbs 18:17; 25:8-10.

        Weighing Opinions in the Light of Reason

        It is common when a husband and wife are arguing that they tend to lose sight of reason and try to convince each other that his or her opinion is right.

        For example, she feels that the room is untidy if a coat is left out. He feels that with a coat left out and a few papers on the table the room is still clean and tidy. How does a Christian counselor try to resolve such resolute personal opinions? There are fine Scriptural reminders he can use, such as, “Let your reasonableness become known to all,” and, ‘Love is long-suffering and kind and does not look for its own interests.’​—Philippians 4:5; 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

        Strong-willed views or motivations may lead to difficult situations. In one marriage, for example, the wife may feel neglected and unwanted, while the husband may feel that she demands his attention too much and does not give him enough freedom of action. They may never have come to a common understanding of what love really is and how it should be expressed and accepted.

        In such a case, the most delicate and tactful form of counseling may be required to bring the ones being counseled around to a balanced view. Persuading them to explain in their own words the Biblical description of love might help. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Sometimes readjustment is eased by assuring the subject that his or her weakness is common to all of us. “Mistakes​—who can discern?” “All men have deflected.”​—Psalm 19:12; Romans 3:12; Psalm 130:3.

        Generalities Are Worthless

        When giving counsel or instruction, Jesus pinpointed issues. (Matthew 22:15-46) Similarly, marriage counseling should address the issues. Vague discussions about love, kindness and generosity are usually not helpful. A pat on the shoulder and the familiar, ‘Just trust in God and everything will work out’ may be all that is necessary in some circumstances. But in other cases such generalities may be the expression of someone who has no real, practical counsel to give.​—See James 2:15, 16.

        An inexperienced or immature counselor may tend to avoid embarrassing or “touchy” subjects. However, Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor, did not shy away from discussing in a tasteful way such matters as sex, finances and personal habits.​—Matthew 5:23, 24, 27, 28; 6:25-34.

        Reaching the Heart

        The counsel one gives should always be based on the Bible. However, a mere quoting of Bible texts does not guarantee that the ones being counseled will get a true understanding of the matter. Again, the successful counselor follows Jesus’ example and is prepared to reason on them. How?​—Matthew 17:24-27.

        Consider, for example, a couple who cannot agree on the subject of headship. The husband thinks he is exercising reasonable Christian headship. The wife thinks she is being unreasonably dominated and bossed. Reading the apostle Paul’s discussion of headship in Ephesians 5:21-27 should be enough to establish the principles at stake. But would the couple then fully understand and accept those principles? Not unless the ones being counseled became personally involved with Paul’s words, seeing how they apply to them personally.

        That, in turn, may call for a succession of searching questions: “How did Jesus exercise headship over the congregation?” “Why does it say, ‘Be in subjection to one another’”? “How is the husband in subjection to the wife”? “How is the congregation in subjection to Jesus?” “What does this tell us about the wife’s relationship with the husband?” and so forth.

        Jesus, when he used this form of counseling, did not give the answers himself. Neither will the wise counselor do that today. Rather, he will draw them out, one after another​—not forcibly but in a patient and kindly manner. “The intention in the human heart is like water far below the surface, but the man of intelligence draws it forth.” (Proverbs 20:5, The New American Bible) The process may take minutes. It may take hours. But it can start a person’s thinking in the right direction. And it serves as a powerful tonic in combating a negative attitude.

        Counsel by Example

        One effective marriage counselor in the United States cites this case of teaching by example: “For a husband who had difficulty showing affection to his wife, one elder made a point of showing affection to his own wife in the presence of this husband. He soon learned what was appropriate.”

        In some countries it is said that the popularized “ideal” image of the male is a bronzed athletic type, good at body-contact sports, one who likes his drinks and other “manly” indulgences. He tends to associate with males and feels embarrassed, thinking it effeminate, to show affection in public to his wife. Here is a situation where the counseling by example would be a force for good.

        The Pace Cannot Be Forced

        The positive qualities and experiences that first bonded a couple together can be eroded by constant complaints. Appropriate reminders​—perhaps based on the Bible book The Song of Solomon, the story of the Shulammite maiden’s unswerving love for her lowly shepherd boy—​just might rekindle powerful emotions that a troubled couple once shared when their love was new.

        However, the one counseling must set a pace according to the needs of the ones receiving counsel. A professional counselor states it is not always wise to try to fix all the faults that are recognized, as if striving for perfection. Rather, he gets a married couple to work out what their main problems are, and in the majority of cases he has them list these in order of importance, the most difficult one first. By reversing the list he has the couple work on the easiest ones first. In this way it becomes easier for them to solve the more difficult problems later.

        Counseling techniques are never a substitute for wisdom. The most skillful professional counselor will be of little use if he uses his skill to promote human theories that are contrary to Bible principles. On the other hand, a marriage counselor who is well versed in God’s thoughts as contained in the Bible is a God-given resource for these times of difficulty in which we live.​—Isaiah 32:1, 2.

        [Blurb on page 10]

        There are no pat answers to be dispensed like pills

        [Blurb on page 11]

        Successful counselors recognize their own need for humility

          God’s Kingdom​—How Real to You?

          pp. 14–15

          God’s Kingdom​—How Real to You?

          ACCORDING to the journal Modern Churchman, theologians say that they have now rediscovered the Kingdom of God as the main theme of the “New Testament.” Does this news strike you as less than earthshaking? It probably seems that way to many who consider that the Kingdom of God has to do with going to heaven when they die. It is bad enough having to worry about our down-to-earth problems. The Kingdom of God is in heaven, they reason. Time enough later to worry about that!

          This view of God’s Kingdom is only partly right. It is true that God’s Kingdom has to do with heaven, because that is where God is. But it affects our earth. In fact, God’s Kingdom is a government just as real as the one that rules your country today. The Bible says: “He [God’s appointed King] will have subjects from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth.” (Psalm 72:8) But is this Kingdom real?

          How Real a Hope?

          Jesus Christ gave the Kingdom of God wide publicity. He went through the land of Palestine proclaiming: “The kingdom of the heavens has drawn near.” (Matthew 4:17) How could he say that? Because he himself was to be the King of that Kingdom. His presence there showed its nearness.

          For Jesus to say he would be King of God’s Kingdom was quite a claim! Was it a mistaken one? No, for at least two reasons: First, what Jesus taught was based on the Bible as it existed then. And, secondly, he performed miracles that were possible only by power from God, showing that God backed up what he was saying.

          How could Jesus be King of God’s Kingdom when history tells us that he died on a torture stake? As you may know, the Bible reports that he was raised from the dead and ascended to heaven, to await the establishment of God’s Kingdom. (Acts 2:32-35) Did that really happen?

          Yes, and it was not done in secret. There were witnesses of Jesus’ resurrection. On one occasion after his public execution, upwards of 500 saw him alive. (1 Corinthians 15:6) Some of these witnesses wrote books that still exist. The books that the apostles Matthew, John and Peter wrote are now a part of the Bible.

          The conduct of Jesus’ followers, too, shows that they can be believed when they say they saw the resurrected Jesus. Right after Jesus’ death they were dejected, wanting to go back to their previous occupations. But soon thereafter they were buoyant, optimistic, ready to carry the good news of the Kingdom to all nations in the face of hardships and persecution. What could have caused such a change? Only the fact that they had seen the resurrected Jesus and thus knew that what he had been telling them about God’s Kingdom was true.

          How Real Today?

          However, the Kingdom of God involves more than merely accepting the fact that Jesus is still alive. In the Lord’s Prayer we are taught to say: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10, Authorized Version) Are the terrible things happening on earth today God’s will? Evidently not. Hence, God’s Kingdom still has things to do.

          A major step toward having God’s will done on earth was the casting of Satan out of heaven, which is preliminary to his destruction. The result? “Woe for the earth” for a short while. (Revelation 12:7-12) This “woe” involves an intense time of trouble for mankind: world wars, famines affecting millions, uncontrolled epidemics, widespread fear of the future, and so forth. Read for yourself how Jesus described it in Matthew 24, Mark 13 and Luke 21. After describing it, he said: “When you see these things occurring, know that the kingdom of God is near.”​—Luke 21:31.

          What Jesus warned about is happening now. This fact proves the reality of God’s Kingdom. It also proves that Satan has already been cast out of heaven and soon the Kingdom will cause God’s will to be done completely on earth.

          However, a Kingdom is not much without subjects. Does God’s Kingdom have subjects? Yes. In more than 200 lands, over 2,000,000 Christians are its subjects. While obeying the laws of the land in which they live, they carefully study and obey the commands of God’s appointed King, Christ Jesus. And they energetically tell their neighbors about this Kingdom, inviting them to become its subjects too. The existence of this international group of subjects makes certain that God’s Kingdom is real.

          This Kingdom is active. It has taught its subjects to live clean, moral lives, to be honest and to have good living habits. It has also molded them into an international brotherhood where love of neighbor really exists. But its most dramatic activities still lie in the future when it will act decisively against Satan and all other wickedness on earth.

          The end result of all its activity is described in a heartwarming promise: “He will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) Would you like to be subject to a government that will bring such benefits? You can be. In fact, God is inviting you to do so. Why not take the time to read the Bible to find out how to go about it? The publishers of this magazine will be delighted to give you any help you need.

            The Mighty Grizzly​—A Killer or a Victim?

            pp. 16–20

            The Mighty Grizzly​—A Killer or a Victim?

            Does the grizzly deserve its reputation as a rampaging killer? The following interview with David Hamer, a research associate of the University of Calgary in Alberta, Canada, and presently stationed in Waterton Lakes National Park, sheds light on this question.

            How long have you made a study of the grizzlies?

            I started in 1971 and, excepting the years 1974 and 1975, I have continued up to the present time.

            How do you proceed with these studies?

            Here in Waterton the wardens captured a female grizzly that had cubs with her. They put a radio collar on her and named her Bertha Bear. This was in June 1981. The next year the wardens caught another female without any cubs and collared her​—she’s Ruby Bear. Now we keep check on their movements by picking up the radio signals.

            What is the purpose of the project?

            We’re studying the food habits of grizzlies, their use of habitat and how the grizzlies interrelate with people.

            And how do they interrelate with people?

            Our two radio-collared bears avoid or ignore people to a certain degree. Ruby Bear usually stays off the trails and out of campsites. Bertha Bear uses the trails, and on rare occasions walks through campsites, but without bothering people, their food or their packs. That’s quite a credit to her, because a bear is a very, very curious animal. If she were to walk over and investigate those packs and smell food in them, she could connect people with food. Once they learn that packs mean food and hikers carry packs, some of them will take packs off hikers or enter campgrounds looking for people’s food, and injuries can result.

            So the bear is looking for food and not just making a vicious attack?

            Yes, if it’s what we call a garbage bear. When regulations warn against feeding wild animals, it’s not to spoil the fun of visitors. It’s to protect both visitors and animals. When wild animals are fed they lose their fear of people, and that’s when injuries sometimes happen. When bears learn that people can mean food, they may investigate people and their belongings as a source of food​—like the rare cases where bears break into people’s tents or pull people out of their sleeping bags and drag them into the woods as a potential food item.

            Thus people feeding bears may be giving them a death sentence, for park officials may thereafter have to kill such bears as too dangerous to let live.

            In other situations a bear can be responding to what it interprets as a threat. Maybe you’ve invaded its space and it’s upset. Or it may be a mother with cubs and it feels you’re endangering her babies.

            If a person is in the backcountry and he sees a grizzly and it comes close and he feels threatened, what should he do?

            First, let me say that the best preventive is to obey the law that forbids feeding wild animals, especially bears. You should also dispose of garbage properly. You might think, ‘I’ll bury my garbage.’ Then later someone sets up his tent on this spot, a bear comes along, smells the buried garbage and tears up the tent to get to the garbage. People could be sleeping in that tent! This has actually happened in a provincial park in British Columbia.

            But, getting down to your question, which was . . . ?

            What should you do if you meet up with an aggressive bear?

            Yes, well . . . an aggressive bear. What action should you take? It’s so dependent on the situation. Each bear, each situation, is different. There are perhaps two broad types of problems. One is the aggressive bear that for some reason is extremely upset with you. The other situation is the bear that has lost its fear of people and looks upon you or your pack as a food source.

            Like: ‘If you see a bear, play dead,’ period. That won’t always work, but sometimes it will. Perhaps a bear is furious because you’ve invaded its “space,” its “individual distance.” In that case the best course may be to ‘play dead.’ You eliminate the threat by becoming inconspicuous, inactive.

            In one case I know of there were two fishermen that had invaded the individual distance of a grizzly. One played dead, the other man fled. The bear ran at 30 miles an houra right by the one that had frozen and it chased and seriously injured the one fleeing.

            And what about in the other situation that you mentioned?

            In the case where a bold bear is looking for food, if you throw yourself at its feet and play dead it’s like saying, ‘Here I am, eat me!’ What’s the bear going to do except see whether you’re edible or not? I think with the bear looking for food that it’s not a very good idea to play dead. Better, if you have a pack or a bag, put it on the ground and back off.

            There might even be a time when it would be best to fight back​—not that you could defeat the bear, but the resistance might awaken its slumbering fear of man and cause it to run off.

            I’ve read about problems with grizzlies in Glacier Park in Montana​—people mauled, an arm chewed off, or maybe someone even killed. Is it the most dangerous park for grizzly injuries?

            It’s had a few problems, but very few. But such happenings are sensational and draw publicity. Glacier Park does have a fairly large grizzly-bear population and its backcountry is heavily used by backpackers. Even so, the number of incidents is really very, very low. But it’s easy for reporters to get carried away with the rather gory, horrifying details of a grizzly’s mauling a man.

            That’s how the grizzly got its “killer” image?

            Yes, from sensational writers. Of course, it’s a gory subject, but so are automobile accidents. They maim horribly, but people don’t like to read about that​—they all use cars. But they gobble up the sensationalized stories of grizzly attacks and begin to think that one is lurking behind every bush, ready to leap out and grab them.

            A ranger in Glacier just recently made a study on the number of deaths that had occurred in that park since it was formed. I think it was around 150. Three percent of them were by bears. Forty-nine percent were by drownings and falling off cliffs. Deaths from automobile accidents were also fairly numerous.

            Fifty thousand people are killed by motor vehicles every year in the United States, but people don’t stop driving their cars, do they?

            No, they don’t, and many won’t even wear seat belts!

            And smoking?

            Yes, smoking. It makes an interesting little study of human nature, doesn’t it? People by the tens of thousands kill themselves all the time by things they could prevent, and they take this for granted; but let a grizzly kill one person and it makes headlines all over the country.

            In actuality, man is more the killer and the grizzly is the victim. Because of man’s actions the grizzly is a threatened species. Grizzlies need wilderness habitat to survive, but man has pushed them into small pockets of their former range.

            How much range do they need?

            They have to range far to find food. A male grizzly can have a home range of over a thousand square kilometers,b the female perhaps two or three hundred square kilometers.c The grizzly is a really remarkable creature, but he must be admired from a distance. He’s unpredictable. They are creatures of great strength and fearsomeness, yet they can be very gentle with their young. But man’s insistence upon feeding them makes them lose their natural fear of humans and trouble starts, for both man and bear.

            What are some observations on the bear’s life cycle: its mating, how often they have cubs, how long the cubs stay with the mother, and other interesting facts?

            The female grizzly has her cubs​—usually two but sometimes one or three—​during winter hibernation. The cubs normally stay with the mother for the first and second summers, and the third summer she’ll let them go and she’ll mate again and have a new set of cubs with her the fourth summer.

            During hibernation she doesn’t eat or drink anything, yet is able to nurse her cubs for about three months. That in itself is quite a physiological feat, but it’s nothing compared to the far more amazing feat of her not defecating or urinating during this entire hibernation period!

            In fact, the Mayo Clinic has studied the blood chemistry and other physiological processes of the hibernating black bear. If the bear can go for some five months without urinating and without accumulating nitrogenous toxic compounds in its blood, how could their kidney patients do the same?d

            Here’s another remarkable thing about the mother grizzly. The mating period occurs in May, June or very early July, and the cubs are born in January or February. But the gestation period isn’t nearly that long because when a 400-pounde grizzly births a cub it weighs only a pound​—fortunately for her. How could a mother bear who isn’t eating nurse a 30-pound youngster, or two or three? So it has this very tiny offspring, just a pound, or two or three, if twins or triplets. Incidentally, Ruby Bear came out of hibernation last spring with just one cub.

            The physiological mechanism the female uses to have such a small offspring and yet have this apparently long gestation period from, say, June until February, is delayed implantation. The embryo does not implant in the wall of the uterus until late November or December. Then the actual gestation period is only about two months. Hence, the tiny offspring.

            That’s really amazing! Something else: I’ve heard that the grizzly’s diet is some 95-percent vegetation. What vegetation?

            They’ll come out in the spring before anything is green and dig for roots and bulbs and corms. They will also eat last year’s berries​—especially the bearberry. Its sugar content doubles over the winter due to the freezing and thawing, and it will have twice as much sugar in the spring as it does in the fall. And when the green vegetation comes out you’ll see bears grazing just like deer or elk​—just grazing, grazing, grazing.

            On grass?

            Yes, grass and sedges. They essentially follow the snow as it melts, eating young growth as it appears. They have to eat only the very tender greens. They don’t have the four-part stomach and the bacteria and protozoans of the cud chewers to digest cellulose​—the woody plant tissue.

            In Waterton Lakes National Park bears also eat cow parsnips and other members of the carrot family, and in late summer they may switch back to digging for bulbs. In the fall the big item is berries.

            Ants or grubs under rocks or in rotting trees, are these much of a source of food?

            I suspect their importance is in vitamins and essential amino acids and things like that, because they are no big food item in terms of volume. Grizzlies are also famous for digging up ground squirrels and marmots and other burrowing rodents.

            Of course, the bears are famous for eating berries. In the fall they will often go on a 24-hour-a-day schedule of berry eating. Gorging on these sugar-laden treats, the bears really put on weight​—a pound or more a day. It’s their big opportunity to pile on the fat to see them through the winter. They add a layer of fat up to eight inches thick.f

            How heavy are the biggest male grizzlies?

            They are twice as heavy as the females, on the average. Many run 600 to 700 pounds. Here in the Canadian Rockies, in late October, an exceptionally huge male in its prime just might touch a thousand pounds!

            So if he lived up to his image as a killer bear . . . ?

            He could do a tremendous amount of damage! Fortunately, this huge vegetarian doesn’t live up to its sensational image as a bloodthirsty killer. Unfortunately, it’s man in his treatment of animals that comes closer to fitting that image.

            [Footnotes]

            a 1 mile = 1.6 kilometers.

            b About 400 square miles.

            c About 100 square miles.

            d The head of the dialysis unit at Mayo Clinic acknowledged that there was some interest in this matter, but no positive results were forthcoming.

            e 1 pound = 0.453 kilogram.

            f 1 inch = 2.5 centimeters.

            [Picture on page 17]

            In spring and early summer when the grass is tender, grizzlies will graze like cattle

              Young People Ask . . .

              pp. 21–23

              Young People Ask . . .

              Does the Devil Really Run Things?

              WOULD you let yourself starve to death? Poison yourself? Challenge someone to a duel from which neither of you could hope to survive?

              “No,” you say, “I’m not crazy.”

              What, then, do you think of a world economic and social system that lets good food rot while millions starve? Or what do you think of nations that pollute earth’s environment while arming themselves for nuclear war?

              A decade ago the vogue was to blame “society” or “the establishment” for the world’s insane conduct. But the Bible points to an invisible “god of this system of things” called Satan, who “has blinded the minds of the unbelievers.” Could it be that someone, a devil, is really blinding mankind against their best interests? Or is such concept “an escape from human responsibility, a fallacious prop,” as Catholic priest Peter J. Riga once called belief in the Devil?​—2 Corinthians 4:4.

              In Newington, Connecticut, 14-year-old Bruce sat in his world-history class and pondered society’s self-destructive urge. A classmate showed him the Bible’s explanation. “My parents didn’t believe in a Devil,” Bruce recalls, “but how else could I explain a crazy world?”

              How Do You Explain It?

              “History would be beyond comprehension,” maintains Rumanian playwright Eugene Ionesco, “if we were to leave out the demonic element.” Expressing his view to a German newspaper, he reasons: “But if there is a demonic element this would lead us to conclude there must be a Divine Being, God, too. It is in this God that I would like to believe. We can expect nothing more from humans. If left to himself, man is without doubt headed for destruction. That is what I believe and what I fear.”​—Welt am Sonntag, September 2, 1979.

              Tom, a young college student, was thoroughly depressed by the obvious futility in world affairs. He quit work on his master’s degree in engineering and retreated to a cabin in Sequoia National Forest. “I distinctly remember thinking that belief in the Devil was unintelligent, a scare tactic like hellfire.” But then Tom began to read for himself what the Bible had to say about the Devil.

              A Method in the Madness

              The Bible clearly identifies Satan as a well-organized, intelligent person. At one time he was perfect, among the myriads of spirit creatures God created in heaven. (Job 38:7) But he made himself a rebel. Perhaps you have read in Genesis how he got Adam and Eve to part ways with God. His scheme? Get the whole world to follow his course. God told Satan that, while he would have followers, his scheme would eventually fail.​—Genesis 3:15.

              His followers can thus become “little satans”​—like father, like son. As Jesus told scheming opposers in his day: “You are from your father the Devil, and you wish to do the desires of your father. That one was a manslayer when he began . . . He is a liar and the father of the lie.” (John 8:44) This explains the hypocrisy, the greed, the paranoia that you see in the adult world.

              Would it surprise you, then, that the Devil would father some whopping lies to hide his real identity? In Egypt, Babylon, Persia and Greece he promoted the hellfire scare. The idea of a Devil with horns, tail and pitchfork for throwing people into the fire came from Pluto, a god of the underworld in classic mythology, and from Pan, a Greek god. The mythical concept sidetracks people from the Devil’s real purpose.

              “As I studied the Bible,” related Tom after emerging from his cabin in the forest, “I soon realized that it clearly teaches the Devil’s existence. The Scriptural idea appealed to me​—a very cunning, superintelligent spirit person making the world act insane. When I saw that neither hellfire nor Christendom’s mythical idea of a Devil with pitchfork, horns, tail, and so forth, was Biblical, then everything made sense.” But just how does the Bible reveal that Satan, whose name means “resister,” runs a world system that spurns God?

              A Powerful Political Figure

              The Devil offered all existing kingdoms to Jesus if he would do an act of worship before him. Jesus refused. But think of the power implied in such a political deal: “The Devil said to him: ‘I will give you all this authority and the glory of them, because it has been delivered to me, and to whomever I wish I give it.’”​—Luke 4:6, 7.

              Reading that in the Bible was an eye-opener to Janet. “Although I believed in God as I grew up, I never thought much about the Devil,” she admitted, “until I turned 24 and read a Bible study aid, The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life.a What impressed me in this Bible study aid was how powerful the Devil is. The clincher came when I read Daniel chapter 10.”

              The book of Daniel calls rebel angels of Satan ‘princes.’ These princes are shown to have had authority over the historic world powers​—Babylon, Persia, Greece, and so forth. The Bible chapter that impressed Janet gives you some insight into Satan’s invisible organization: “And now,” an angel named Gabriel says, “I shall go back to fight with the prince of Persia. . . . Look! also the prince of Greece is coming . . . and there is no one holding strongly with me in these things but Michael [another angel].” (Daniel 10:20, 21) Only Jehovah God can stop Satan and straighten out the mess Satan’s world system has created.

              Ending the Madness

              Would you be glad if God disposed of Satan and his system within your lifetime? The Bible specifies that ours is a time of “woe” (difficulties), “because the Devil has come down to you, having great anger, knowing he has a short period of time.”​—Revelation 12:12.

              For the first time in history, in 1914, a world war began. Unprecedented woes resulted earth wide. Then came World War II and multinational wars in Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East and elsewhere. Leaders now fear a self-destructive third world war. Our age of world war is unique. The Bible mentions it in combination with social unrest (“lawlessness,” disobedience to parents, people not open to any agreement), and with food shortages and earthquakes. Jesus associated these events with ‘the sign of the conclusion of the system of things.’​—Matthew 24:3, 7, 12, 34; 2 Timothy 3:1-3.

              Philosopher-mathematician Bertrand Russell was an eyewitness to these sweeping changes since 1914. Although as an agnostic he believed in neither God nor the Devil, he remarked on mankind’s self-destructive bent since that year:

              “Ever since 1914, everybody conscious of trends in the world has been deeply troubled by what has seemed like a fated and predetermined march toward ever greater disaster. Many serious people have come to feel that nothing can be done . . . They see the human race, like the hero of a Greek tragedy, driven on by angry gods and no longer the master of fate.”​—New York Times Magazine, September 27, 1953.

              What does this mean? That the Devil’s time is truly “short,” for Jesus added, “This generation [alive in 1914] will by no means pass away until all these things occur.” As one of “these things,” God will destroy Satan’s system. Thereafter God will use Jesus Christ to “bring to nothing” Satan himself.​—Matthew 24:21, 34; Hebrews 2:14.

              Sanity, at Last!

              How should it make you feel to know that the Devil is truly running things as “the god of this system”? “It isn’t a frightening thought,” says Janet. “Just the opposite. It explains what’s happening these days.” In Bruce’s estimation, “It gives you a solid hope. You know God’s heavenly government, his Kingdom, will win.” Tom asks, “How else could you honestly expect the earth to become a Paradise?”​—Psalm 37:9-11.

              It became American comedian Flip Wilson’s successful comedy line, “The Devil made me do it.” But should you feel that we must blame Satan for our own mistakes? That would be foolish. Read for yourself the Bible’s explanation of world conditions​—that is wise. Why not examine it further, soon?

              [Footnotes]

              a Published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society.

              [Box on page 23]

              “Think More Deeply About Its Causes”

              An editorial in The Wall Street Journal examined the problem of terrorism. “The modern, secular mind wants to blame society,” it noted. But its concluding words? “The first step in dealing with terrorism is to think more deeply about its causes. In this respect our ancestors were ahead of us. You are less close to the truth if you blame society than you are if you blame Satan.”​—October 28, 1977.

              [Picture on page 21]

              The horns, tail, cloven hooves and pitchfork come from ancient pagan gods

                “I Gave Her Six Weeks, She Gave Me the Truth”

                pp. 24–27

                “I Gave Her Six Weeks, She Gave Me the Truth”

                I GREW up on a small farm in Pleasant View, Tennessee. My dad was a sharecropper. Our house was small and by most standards we would be considered dirt poor. But all my friends at school thought I was rich because I had all the farm animals to play with. I was very content as a child. I was raised a Methodist. They were very liberal and so was I. Everyone was going to heaven.

                My earliest recollection of Jehovah’s Witnesses was one Sunday morning when we were snowed in and couldn’t go to church. One of the Witnesses came to our door. My mother was busy, so he was turned over to me. He couldn’t have been thrilled about this​—I was only seven years old. Three years later my aunt became a Witness, and after that my mother also became one.

                By this time I was a senior in high school and involved in many activities with the MYF​—Methodist Youth Fellowship. I was going places. And now my mother wanted me to go to Witness meetings three times a week! Well, the compromise was that I would go to the Methodist church on Sundays but to Witness meetings on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I had nothing against the Witnesses, but I started hating them anyway. I had this wonderful career ahead of me, and now I had to spend my time going to Witness meetings! Finally I told my mother: “This won’t work. I’m leaving. I’m going to college.”

                I went to college, but I also went to live with my aunt, Eurlene, who was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in California. At this time her husband was also becoming a Witness. To my mind it wasn’t exactly the ideal setup. However, they let me do as I wished. I went to college and everything was fine. I was still a good Methodist. I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t curse. I’d go to my meetings and everything was great. I also started taking psychology classes in college. Those “nice” psychology lessons taught by atheists! In one summer they destroyed every bit of faith I had in religion​—I didn’t have much anyway that was founded on knowledge.

                From there on I was what my parents considered ultrawild. I really wasn’t ultrawild yet, but I was on my way. My mother came out to California. There was a big conference about my course in life. I was apprehensive of the outcome, but as I look back on it I can see how wisely they handled headstrong me. They helped me get set up in an apartment but kept contact with me. I cut them off completely, but they never cut me off. They didn’t condone what I did, but they never cut me off. It made it easy for me to come back later.

                Anyway, I got set up on my own and was doing really well, I thought. I got into college demonstrations, which scared the life out of my mother. I got involved with factions of the SDS​—Students for Democratic Society. Very radical, very militaristic and revolutionary. I was going to change the world, solve its problems. Later on I got into some of the riots​—not the major ones that hit national headlines but some shouting and rock throwing. Two or three police might be injured and several of the demonstrators beaten, but they were not the mass mania that characterized the demonstrations of the early 1960’s.

                I got caught up in the fever of it all, but soon things started happening that didn’t fit the ideals. One of the groups I was involved with started telling me about arms stored in a basement​—machine guns, hand grenades. This was the group I was marching with for peace, and they were talking about doing what we were preaching against, saying: “Let’s go bomb the campus! Let’s overthrow the system!” Nothing constructive, only tearing down. This was madness. This was revolution without a cause.

                My parents had always taught me respect for life. We had guns. We shot copperhead snakes that might bite one of the children. We shot weasels in the hen house. We shot the hogs because it was the most merciful way to slaughter them. As far as shooting birds or other animals, it had to be for food or protection. So on the farm it was always with respect for life that I grew up.

                I loved peace. I thought I was marching for peace. I really did. Those talks at the school in the evenings, just the noblest of thoughts in those fine speeches. And then I heard about guns and grenades! I got out fast. And when I got out I got away out. I left all groups, all association, severed all connections. The man I was dating wanted me to marry him. It wasn’t what I really wanted, but I did marry him. Then within three months he joined the army! This man who’s been in the peace movement with me joins the army!

                I returned to Tennessee, attended Austin Peay State University, and started dating men again. This was in 1971. At this time my soldier husband wanted me to come and live on the base with him. I asked him: “What happens at the movies when they play the anthem and have the flag salute and I don’t stand up? What are all your GI buddies going to do to me? What happens when they challenge me and I tell them all my respect for governments has long gone?” I was disgusted over Vietnam. I had friends that came back from Vietnam with plates in their heads​—I couldn’t cope with it.

                In fact, it repelled me so much that when my brother wanted me to buy bullets for his rifle, I refused. All he shot were the starlings that ate our crops. Or rabbits, and the family ate them. But by that time I was so disgusted with any kind of gun that I wouldn’t even buy bullets for him.

                Well, the upshot of it with my husband was that he got a divorce. He had given me a beautiful wedding ring, a two-carat diamond. I wouldn’t keep it. I’d only had it three months and later he might like to pass it on to his children, or give it back to his mother.

                I moved to Nashville and started dating the vice-president of a corporation. Maybe big business had the answers. I’d tried the peace movement and it was too military, so I thought: “I’ll get into business. That will cure all the problems.” About then a detective came around and I found out that this vice-president I was dating was trafficking in stolen goods and cocaine. One of the other vice-presidents from the company cornered me and wanted all the inside information on this man. It was a power struggle within the company and I wanted no part of it. Business lost its appeal very quickly.

                About this time my mother, my sweet mother, cornered Ray and Suzi Lloyd at a meeting of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I had told her in sarcastic jest that if she ever found an educated Witness I’d study the Bible with him. So Ray gave a talk. Mom was impressed and said to him: “I want you to study with my daughter. She lives in Nashville.” Ray lived in Nashville, too, but on the far side of the city from me. My mother knew that Ray and Suzi would come all the way across Nashville to study with me in my trailer. They did. They came all the way. And I was about as interested as . . . well, I was so uninterested it was pathetic! I was saying to myself: “Oh, no, have I ever got myself into trouble now!” Well, I got some books from Suzi​—their colors matched my living-room decor—​and that was it for the time being.

                I moved my trailer to Pleasant View and started dating the detective that had investigated the corrupt vice-president. I was amoral, but this detective turned out to be the biggest criminal of them all. The things I got into with him were so illegal, so vulgar​—worse than anything I had done before. And this was a detective with the Nashville police force, a 20-year veteran. I had been into drugs​—the doctors had said at that time that marijuana was harmless and so was LSD and speed—​but I look back at some of the things I did under drugs and I shudder.

                I’d had some of the weirdest friends imaginable, but this detective I was dating was the worst. I became so disgusted with all of them and with myself that I quit everything. I was also very sick at the time, and the doctor told me to stay in for six weeks. I had really hit rock bottom.

                And then I remembered Suzi Lloyd. For the life of me I don’t know why, but I had a compelling urge to call her and ask for a Bible study. I did call, but her number had been changed. I hung up, asking myself: “Why am I calling her?” I was perplexed. No reason to call her. But I did. I picked up the phone again, dialed her new number and blurted out: “Suzi, I’ve got six weeks. Will you teach me the Bible?”

                She did. Doctrine first, but soon she branched out, showing the Bible’s accuracy, its logicalness, that it is inspired. She showed me that the Bible is true, and if it is true then the God it talks about must exist. This was the big thing that was accomplished by studying with Suzi​—the return of a belief in God. We studied three times a week, four hours each study, and after that had coffee and two more hours of discussing scriptures. After the second week Suzi said I should go to the meetings at the Kingdom Hall, and I did that too.

                We finished the book we were studying along with the Bible. The agreed-upon six weeks were over. But now I wanted the study to continue. By this time we were studying at Suzi’s house, not in my trailer.

                So I said to Suzi: “Well, we’re finished now, right, Suzi?”

                “That’s right.”

                “So what do we do now?” I knew the Witnesses usually studied another book. My mother had told me that. I was waiting for her to suggest this, and I would graciously accept. Instead she said:

                “Well, the six weeks are over. It’s really up to you.”

                I was so deflated! I could only mumble weakly, “I guess we stop.”

                Driving home I never felt so miserable in all my life. The Witnesses are supposed to beg, they’re supposed to want me to study! I’m doing them a favor! That’s how I had always looked at it, and now it didn’t happen that way. I was so sad and dejected that I drove down the road bawling my head off. Suddenly I thought: ‘This is stupid. I want the study. I’m going to call Suzi.’ I stopped the car, found a phone booth​—it isn’t easy at midnight—​and called Suzi. Ray answered, got Suzi out of the bathtub, and between the sobs I told her that I had to have the study.

                Two months later I got baptized. I’d sold my trailer, paid off my debts, and attended an international convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses in California. That’s where I was baptized. The day after baptism I started preaching full time from house to house. Although I had a secular job, the first month I put in 150 hours preaching. The next month, 140 hours. I was advised to slow down, so the third month I put in only 100 hours. Soon I quit my job and concentrated on telling others about Jehovah’s Kingdom.

                Returning to Tennessee, I met Gary Hobson, also one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. A few months later, in 1976, we got married. We entered the full-time preaching work together, and the next seven years have been the happiest of my life. We’re still serving full time announcing Jehovah’s Kingdom.​—Contributed by Cathy Hobson.

                [Blurb on page 24]

                “Those ‘nice’ psychology lessons . . . In one summer they destroyed every bit of faith I had in religion”

                [Blurb on page 26]

                “I thought I was marching for peace . . . And then I heard about guns and grenades!”

                [Blurb on page 26]

                “This man who’s been in the peace movement with me joins the army!”

                [Blurb on page 27]

                “I was advised to slow down, so the third month I put in only 100 hours”

                  From Our Readers

                  p. 28

                  From Our Readers

                  Learning Disabilities

                  The May 8, 1983, issue of Awake!, pages 3-13, contained several excellent articles about children with learning disabilities and/​or hyperactivity. (“Does Your Child Have Learning Problems?”)

                  I request permission to make 75 copies of those pages for use by my high school students and by our high school faculty. My intention is to have the students read the articles so that they will be more understanding of those who have such difficulties and be helpful to those who need advice and aid.

                  Our faculty would benefit from such well-written and encouraging articles. Too often we have received information on learning disabilities written in very technical terms and have been mystified rather than enlightened. The tone of the articles is also encouraging rather than negative.

                  L. F. Z., English Instructor, Wisconsin

                  Permission has gladly been given with the understanding that the copies will be for the private use of the students and faculty and will not be used for commercial purposes. We hope the articles will produce good results.​—ED.

                  After reading the feature articles in the May 8 issue dealing with the genuine concerns of the learning disabled, I am moved to offer this letter of gratitude. The wealth of knowledge provided through these articles offered the reader an opportunity to benefit from a similar education I received through many, many hours of college education courses. Because your presentation is so easily understandable by all who need to, I pray for the opportunity to share this issue with the many teachers and parents of my students.

                  M. F., Special Education Teacher, Connecticut

                  Today I received from Mrs. P., a local Jehovah’s Witness, a copy of your May 8 issue of Awake!, with page after page of first-rate stuff about dyslexia​—so why did you let yourselves be persuaded to avoid the word? You printed 8 million copies of this really splendid discussion on dyslexia and never used the word “dyslexia” once! “Learning difficulty” is too vague.

                  M. M., retired Remedial Teacher, England

                  We did not avoid the word “dyslexia” because we felt there was a stigma associated with the word, but, rather, because of the confusion among some specialists as to just what dyslexia means. For example, according to “The World Book Encyclopedia,” the term originally “referred only to those disabilities thought to be the result of a disorder in the central nervous system.” But now it is used by many as a term that refers to a number of reading disabilities. Therefore, “The World Book Encyclopedia” says: “Numerous educators no longer use the term at all because of the confusion over its meaning.”​—ED.

                  TV

                  I am a ten-year-old girl named Debora and I live in Bologna. Thank you for the article “Television​—What It Can Do for You . . . and to You” (October 22, 1982) because it made me understand that if my father decided to do away with TV he was right.

                  D. M., Italy

                    Watching the World

                    pp. 29–31

                    Watching the World

                    Doctors Learning

                    ● “Trauma specialists are learning,” says an article in The Medical Post of Canada, that blood values do “not have to be up at normal levels for patients to do well after recovering from trauma or surgery.” The article entitled “Jehovah’s Witnesses give lesson” quotes Dr. Robert Darrow, a governor of the American College of Surgeons, who said: “Jehovah’s Witnesses, for example, who refuse to take blood transfusions, often do amazingly well even with extremely low hematocrits.”

                    Dr. Darrow explained: “As long as the volume is there and the cardiac output is there circulating that volume apparently we really don’t need what we consider as a normal blood count. We can get away with amazingly little blood if there is volume.” In an interview with Awake!, Dr. Darrow also noted that “there is some work coming out of the children’s hospital in Seattle where they are working with very low hematocrits and they do better this way because the less thick the blood the quicker the circulation and the kids do beautifully.”

                    ‘Human Life Scorned’

                    ● At least two million people have been executed over the past 15 years without due process of law​—the right to choose their own lawyer, have a fair trial and the right to appeal—​a recent report to the United Nations Human Rights Commission has disclosed. According to The New York Times, the report stated that “officially inspired executions, ranging from scattered murders to mass purges of political opponents, have been reported in 37 countries.” Speaking of “the growing scorn for human life,” the commission’s special reporter, Amos Wako, said that the point has been reached where “it could become an international problem and countries should act quickly to confront it.”

                    Bible Translations Increase

                    ● The Bible continues to be the most widely translated book. According to the American Bible Society, at least one book of the Bible has been printed in 1,763 languages​—up 24 from the 1981 figure. About 500 of these languages are currently being offered by Bible societies, as many have fallen into disuse. Complete Bibles can be chosen from a list of 279 languages, an increase of 2 from 1981. It is estimated that over 3,000 languages and distinct dialects are in use around the world today.

                    Baby Exports

                    ● “Babies have become the latest export commodity in a number of developing countries where organisations engaged in unscrupulous adoption practices have mushroomed,” says the magazine India Today. “The middle class childless couples in many West European countries, notably the Federal Republic of Germany, have found a convenient way to fulfil their lifetime ambition to have a child​—they simply adopt one from poor countries like India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Thailand.” The orphan population in India alone, says the article, is “large enough to cater to the needs of childless couples in the entire West,” and “displaying a dark-skinned child in a family group picture has become the ‘in’ thing in many Nordic countries.” Also accounting for the “flourishing trafficking of babies,” says India Today, is the ease of obtaining a child through unofficial agencies​—a few weeks compared with up to two years and an “entire mountain of paperwork.”

                    Pony Express Revived

                    ● The ten volunteer Pony Express Riders came dressed in original Pony Express uniforms replete with Stetson hats, red shirts and bandannas, blue jeans and cowboy boots. As before, each rider carried a pistol and a Bible. “We don’t have to read it, just carry it,” said one. The group offered their services after a huge landslide blocked off the main highway between California’s Lake Tahoe and Sacramento. Mail trucks faced a very long, winding alternate route. So six days a week, until the slide could be cleared away, the riders delivered an average of a thousand pieces of first-class mail each day along a 40-mile (65-km) trail. “It’s fast, much faster than regular delivery,” said one user.

                    “Promised Land”?

                    ● “Don’t look to Sweden,” says an editorial from the Detroit News. It notes that many “experts” who “argue against telling parents their children are using contraceptives” often look to Sweden, with its liberal laws and contraceptives “available to youngsters, freely and confidentially,” as the “Promised Land.” But the editorial continues: “What else does Sweden have? Sweden has one of the highest abortion rates in the world. One of every two pregnancies is aborted. One third of all Swedish births are illegitimate. That’s roughly three times the illegitimacy in the United States. The Swedish divorce rate is now 60 percent higher than the U.S. rate, which itself is shockingly high by historical standards.” The editorial concludes with a caution to “regard ‘experts’ warily, especially when their alien notions, however trendy, represent a coarse and destructive intrusion into family life.”

                    Exemplary Officials?

                    ● In an article entitled “Are MPs [Members of Parliament] sober enough to judge,” Dr. Colin Brewer of London’s Westminster Hospital says that the House of Commons is “awash with alcohol” and that if “some Members drank rather less” they would behave better in the House. One MP denounced the article as “grossly offensive” and sent a copy of it to the Speaker of the House. Since then Dr. Brewer, who stood ready to defend his article, has received a reply from the Speaker saying “there was no case for Dr. Brewer to answer,” reports London’s Daily Telegraph.

                    ● “The head of the Montreal police drug squad has been arrested on a drug trafficking charge,” says The Toronto Star. The arrested officer is a 25-year veteran policeman who had also served as the head of the organized crime and holdup squads. He is said to be well respected as one of the police department’s most experienced detectives. The arrest was made after a two-week investigation ordered by Montreal’s police chief. No contest is expected.

                    ● Milan’s newsmagazine Panorama recently reported on what a three-volume rule book for Italian judges and magistrates has to say about their moral conduct. According to the report, the code spells out that “it is a punishable offense to try to embrace a stenographer, trying to overcome her resistance by force, [or] to engage in similar behavior with any other woman lured into one’s chambers on any pretext.” It also outlaws “initiating an amorous relationship with a person bringing a bankruptcy case” and “frequently visiting a municipal brothel in one’s judicial district, using one’s position to gain free entry.”

                    Nondrinking Alcoholic

                    ● A man in the United States has finally convinced doctors that he could get drunk simply by eating a carbohydrate-packed meal. “Every specialist I went to eventually lost interest in me​—they assumed I was lying,” he said. “The more my wife, Betty, and I insisted I didn’t drink, the more convinced doctors became that I was a hopeless case.” Now, after 37 years of repeated drunkenness, a specialist has discovered that the man is a victim of a rare disease, Meitei-Sho, previously diagnosed only in Japan. As reported in Britain’s Yorkshire Post, great quantities of a yeastlike fungus growing in his intestines converted carbohydrates into alcohol, so that he “reeked of alcohol, slurred his words, wobbled on his feet​—and sometimes became a nasty drunk.” Doctors now wonder how many other “alcoholics” are actually just suffering from an intestinal ailment.

                    Check Those Sunglasses!

                    ● Many of the sunglasses sold in stores do not significantly filter out the sun’s ultraviolet rays, says Anthony Cullen, professor of optometry at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada. According to Cullen, an expert on optical radiation hazards, this may lead to the development of cataracts or other vision problems later in life. Usually, people squint to protect their eyes from bright sunlight. But because sunglasses make the light appear less bright, wearers tend to keep their eyes wide open, allowing the invisible ultraviolet light to enter and possibly damage the eyes.

                    Monkeyshines

                    ● Uncontested, a group of temple monkeys won a court case in Alleppey, India, when neither the petitioner nor his counsel showed up. The petitioner, representing students at a medical college, alleged that the monkeys created havoc, taking what they wanted from the college storeroom and dining hall, attacking and biting 15 students. The students’ demand that the temple monkeys be removed and caged was opposed by local residents. ‘No petitioner? Case dismissed.’

                    ● Meanwhile, at Manmad, India, a fierce, grieving monkey held the entire town at bay for a week when it went on a rampage, injuring at least 15 people​—even a police constable, who lost his ear. The four-foot-(1.2-m-)high monkey made motorcycles its special target, after one reportedly had hit and killed its mate. Police finally cornered the animal in a saloon and waited patiently for six hours until it could be lured out and into an iron cage, to be handed over to the District Forest Department.

                    ● At a railway station near Amravati, India, a monkey caused the town to be without electric power for three hours. The simian climbed onto a power station transformer, making faces at a dog that had chased it there. Officials shut off the power after managing to drive the dog away but could not persuade the monkey to come down. Finally, someone came up with the idea of luring the monkey down with a basket of fruit, and while the monkey ate contentedly power was restored.

                    Ill Designed

                    ● An interior designer, who says his mission is “to create an environment that relaxes the morality of people,” has been hired to redesign a large hotel-casino in Atlantic City, U.S.A. Enlisting the aid of an “environmental psychologist,” he came up with the following, as reported in The Wall Street Journal: A “majestic marble lobby with its Roman statues” to lure gamblers and “funnel them through carefully placed lights and open spaces into the casino”; lobby windows “replaced by sheets of creamy Italian marble” so that “people won’t be able to relate to time”; materials in the casino that “enhance” noise because “noise creates excitement”; and lighting at gambling tables that envelops the player but excludes spectators so as not to “interrupt his sense of security.”

                    Even restaurants will be decorated to “suggest a kinship between gambling and royalty,” and to impart warmth and “sensuality.” Complimentary rooms given to big-spending gamblers will be designed so that “the occupants will practically run to the roulette wheels.”

                      Your View of Sex​—What Difference Does It Make?

                      p. 31

                      Your View of Sex​—What Difference Does It Make?

                      What does the Bible say regarding sex? The chapter with the above title in the book True Peace and Security​—From What Source? answers. This hardbound, 192-page book is only 75 cents, postpaid.

                      Please send the book True Peace and Security​—From What Source? I enclose 75 cents (U.S.).

                        Is There Life After Death?

                        p. 32

                        Is There Life After Death?

                        At death do people only seem to die? Is there something about humans that survives death? Can those who have died ever live as humans again?

                        Read the heartwarming answers to these questions in the 192-page book Is This Life All There Is? See the sound reasons for believing that there is indeed much more than this life. Only 75 cents, postpaid.

                        Please send the hardbound book Is This Life All There Is? I enclose 75 cents (U.S.).